March 14th, 2037
0630
Dear Space Diary.
Launch day!
Sort of.
Spent a few hours last night hunting for duct tape. Sounds
easy enough to find, but if you’re a few systems away from the nearest hardware
store it’s harder than you’d think.
NASA assured me the Zubrin definitely had some though, and I
was eventually able to find a roll that had, well, rolled under the computer.
Looks pretty full too, so hopefully it’ll be enough.
It was getting pretty light at this point of the evening
(stupid 45 hour day) but I had an early ‘night’, as for the next task I wanted
to be as wide awake as I possibly could.
That's right. Time to start messing with high explosives.
Anything for a quiet life.
0650
Ok. On top of the Zubrin. The missiles fire from a built-in
launcher just above the front windscreen. There's two. NASA advised only 4
missiles were packed, (why they packed them at all is a conversation we'll have
later) so I've got 3 left to play with.
Peering into the launch mechanisms (that wasn't terrifying
at all...) I think the right one must have fired, as the left has a missile
ready and waiting. If I reach in, I should be able pull it out. Simple.
Just reach right in. No trouble.
All I have to do. Pull it out. Easy as pie.
Explosive, dangerous pie.
Just go for it. Here I go.
0750
Any second now.
0800
I'm really not comfortable about this. Hang on.
0830
Have switched off the Zubrin's generator. Possibly a bit
extreme but without the computer to arm it, the only way it'll detonate is if I
hit a manual Arm switch.
By, you know, pressing it accidentally while trying to pull
the missile out.
Sigh. I guess I better get on with it.
0837
Ok, here we go.
Arm going in.
0839
Got it! I've got a grip on the missile.
Doesn't feel like I've inadvertently pressed any “explode” buttons. Ok, now carefully draw it out...
0840
Careful... careful... It's almost out...
0842
ARGH! I DROPPED IT! I'M GOING TO DIE!
0845
...or not. I appear to have avoided an explosive finale to
my adventures. It's just kind of sitting there.
Kind of looks harmless now.
Climbing down to take a look.
0847
IT BEEPED! I REALLY AM GOING TO DIE!
0852
...Maybe I should talk to someone about this overreacting
thing I've got going.
Ok, the missile doesn't appear to be exploding any time
soon. Seems simple enough design. There's an Arm button near the top and a
Rocket button near the button. Unless I press the Arm button, the missile will
just fly away and bounce off things.
Ok, so all I need to do is reprogram a lightdog with a USB,
stick it to the missile, and launch it in to the atmosphere, where it will
function as a GPS for my tracking device. Piece of cake.
Dangerous, explosive cake.
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