Ninety-Ninth Entry

March 17^th, 2037

1315

Dear Space Diary.

“Is there a problem?”

Well, not as such, no. Except, yes.

“What?”

Well, you’ve got three lightdogs in cages.

“You think I shouldn’t have lightdogs? But I need them to run the fuel generator. I told you I need them.”

It’s not the lightdogs I object to, it’s the cages.

“But they’d wander off otherwise! You saw the grand exodus of the other lightdogs. If I let these ones go, there’d be no fuel. And we couldn’t go home.”

That’s true enough, but, it just feels wrong.

“Wrong? They’re… they’re not actually dogs, you know. They’re robots. Really rudimentary ones. They do precisely what they’re told, and then they wait until they’re told something else to do.”

You shouldn’t cage them up.

“They’re not alive!”

Neither are dolphins!

“…Yes they are.”

Sorry. Bad example. Heat of the moment.

“Look, if it makes you feel better I’ll let them go once we’ve got enough fuel. Honest. I… I just need to go home, ok? I’ve lost half of my life to NASA. I really want to use the rest of it for me.”

Where did you get the cages anyway? Did you build them?

“No… they were made to hold something else.”

But there’s nothing else around here, just me, you, and…

“Exactly. And.”

Ah.

“Ah indeed. So I REALLY want to go home. And if I have to cage up a couple of robots to do it, then I cage up a couple of robots. OK?”

…Ok.

“Good. Now shut the door. I’m going to let them out. When I do, I need you to grab them and turn them off so I can override their programming, get them on fuel detail.”

Grab them?

“Yeah. Haven’t you done it? You just reach in, hit the switch, and make sure you don’t drop them. They won’t bite.”

Or laser me into small easily stackable pieces?

“Promise. It’s easy. Oh! But you’ll need these.”

Gloves?

“Sunglasses. They’re pretty bright in there.”

1325

That was actually easier than I thought it would be. Last one was a fast little critter though. Had to chase it around the room until I caught it. Mary couldn’t as she was busy setting up the other two lightdogs.

“Plus it was pretty funny.”

I’ll take your word for it. Ok, three programmed lightdogs, ready to go.

“Great. Now I just need you to press that button over there.”

You mean on the back of this large cylindrical device sitting in the corner of the room, with three pipes leading into a vat, and a funnel of rocks in the top?

“Are you trying to narrate without it looking like your narrating?”

…I was feeling self-conscious.

“You’re adorable. Yes, that one. Since you ask, the rocks in the top are crushed and then heated. The run-off is mixed together, combined with about 30 other things, and hey, presto, rocket fuel.”

Ok. I’ve pressed it.

“Great! Now for the 30 other things.”