April 1st, 2037
2040
Dear Space Diary
Ok, let’s see if I can get this coffee machine to work.
BEEP
This writing is tiny. Or I’m going blind. Or both.
Welcome to the
NASAcafe 3000, your number one (and only) choice for deep space coffee. Space
is lonely, cold, and black. Just like our coffee!
Unless you have
milk.
To order a cup of
delicious, refreshing MOONTM coffee, please press 1. To order a cup
of tasty, invigorating EARTHTM coffee, press 2.
To order a cup of
JUPITERTM coffee, press 3.
Hmm. 1.
Out of MOONTM
coffee. Make another choice.
Er, ok. 2.
Out of EARTHTM
coffee. Make another choice.
Ugh. Ok fine, 3.
NASA is no longer
able to supply JUPITERTM coffee due to quality concerns and recently
introduced legislation in the US.
That legislation
does not apply in outer space, however. Now printing liability waiver. Please
hold.
…I’ll just make some tea.
2055
Mary wasn’t thrilled by the lack of coffee but did agree
that any coffee that required you to sign a contract was coffee not worth
having. So I’m back to feeling useless.
Figure I’ll give the card house another attempt.
2130
“What off Earth is that?”
A four story circus tent made out of playing cards.
“And that?”
A giraffe. Also made out of playing cards.
“How did you get the cards to stand up like that.”
Skill. Also glue.
“So if we wanted to play cards?”
It would be a very interesting game.
“Right. Well while you’ve been doing that, we’ve been
working. Hard. And we think we’re ready
to go.”
Great. What can I do?
“Well, nothing. We’re good.”
…And you wonder why I was making card houses?
“Fair point.”
There isn’t anything I can do? I don’t really feel like I’m
contributing.
“It’s ok. We’re all set. I’d like you to listen in, but we
should be fine.”
Oh. Ok then.
“Hey. You did do something important. Something very
important.”
What was that?
“Save my life.”
…what are you trying to do.
“I’m trying to kiss you.”
Um, why?
“Because I’m grateful.”
I have a fiancé.
“Oh get over yourself. I’m not overcome by mad saviour
complex passion. I’m not kissing you followed by getting you into bed. I’m
just, grateful that you saved my life. So you get a kiss. One. And nothing
else.”
Oh.
“Unless you think I’m so unattractive that the mere thought
of kissing me repulses you.”
…They’re two pretty extreme choices.
“Well, which is it?”
When you put it like that.
“That’s what I thought.”
So, how do we -?
“You’ve done this before, right?”
Yeah, of course!
“Good, because I, kind of, haven’t.”
Really?
“20 years in space, remember?”
But before?
“…No. Never. You’d kind of be my first.”
And you want it to be me?
“Sure, why not?”
Oh ok. Well, you just kind, um, I don’t know! It’s tough to
explain. It’s more of a heat of the…
2135
“Like that?”
Yes.
Like that.
Ahahahah. Oh dear. :) Here I thought the story was nearly over, but this is probably going to necessitate its own arc...
ReplyDeleteLove your work.