155th Entry

April 2^nd, 2037

0900

Dear Space Diary

Well, there goes the alarm. Time to wake up. That might require me to be asleep though.

May have been up all night thinking.  May have been wondering what exactly I think about Mary. May have decided to not let it get to me, that I love my fiancé, and that I don’t want this naïve 20 year space castaway to come in and ruin things.

May have decided I’m being a little unfair. May be rather tired.

0922

Ah, that’s better. Breakfast makes everything better.

No, wait, still tired. And grumpy. Maybe it’s hot showers. Yes. Hot showers make everything better.

0944

Wrong again. I guess if we fix the engines I do have at least five weeks of awkward conversations at mealtimes and avoiding her at all other times for things to get better.

Damn it, this would be so much easier if she hadn’t kissed me.

This would be so much easier if I hadn’t enjoyed it.

Guess I should go talk to her.

9050

Where’s Mary?

“Morning is traditional.”

Good Morning, where’s Mary?

“She’s not talking to you.”

What did I do?

“A very good question. What, in fact, did you do?”

I don’t know what you mean.

“I think you do. Something has happened, and neither of you are telling me what it is. But I’m going to find it out. I’m an excellent detective.”

Have you ever been a detective before?

“In my heart I’m an excellent detective.”

Nothing’s going on, 3.0.

“Exactly what a guilty person would say.”

What would a person say if nothing was actually going on?

“Don’t change the subject!”

BEEP

“Sorry to interrupt, but can I change the subject?”

“Sure Mary, what’s up? And when are you coming out from there? You can’t just talk to us over the intercom forever.”

“Correct. We will at some point reach Earth.”

Hi Mary.

“I’m ready to go outside whenever you want. I’ve spent all morning studying the wiring. I’m ready, Mary.”

Hi Mary.

“That’s good. Well, no time like the present. Put on a suit and let’s get this done.”

“Ok great. I’ll go get ready to step outside. Can you lend me a hand? Mary’ll be on the computer and I could use some help getting into the suit.”

Uh, sure.

“Thanks! See you in a bit.”

“Bye 3.0.”

“Bye Mary.”

…Hi Mary.

“Hi.”

1001

“Ow! Careful with the zip.”

Sorry.

“Hope this isn’t too awkward.”

I’ve helped women get dressed before.

“Cute ones that have a crush on you?”

Actually yes.

“Oh yeah. Your fiancé. You know I don’t know anything about her.”

I don’t want to talk about it.

“I just think –“

Drop it! I don’t want to talk about her. I just don’t want to think about it!

“…Sure.”

Sorry. Need you helmet?

“Just leave it. I’ll finish this myself.”

Look, 3.0, I know I got –

“Get out, please.”

...Sure.

SLAM.

Now they’re both angry at me.

Nice work.