178th Entry

April 4^th, 2037

1740

Dear Space Diary

“Ok so what’s this catastrophic terrible important thing you have to tell me?”

NASA have plans to collect the Marys and return them to Earth.

“…That actually is quite catastrophic, terrible, and important.”

Yes. So what are we going to do?

“Not a lot we can do from here… everything’s on autopilot.”

What about the Marys? Can they do anything?

“Hmm. Well, they could use… yes I think that might work!”

What might work?

“Quick! There’s not a moment to lose?”

Why not?

“You wouldn’t understand.”

1744

“2.0. If you can hear me, this is Mary. NASA are coming for you. I repeat, NASA are coming for you.”

0810

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

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WHEN? HOW? WHY?

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<ENDTRANSMISSION>

“Er. We don’t know. Probably some sort of spaceship. We don’t know.”

0820

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

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YEAH. THANKS FOR ALL THE INFORMATION.

__

<END TRANSMISSION>

“This is important! You need to be ready!”

Mary’s right.

“Of course I’m right! Listen. 2.0. Go to my quarters in the city. Building 97, floor 45.”

What apartment number will they need to go to?

“There’s only one apartment on that level. It’s kind of a penthouse suite.”

You put yourself in the penthouse?

“I was marooned alone on an alien planet with no hope of rescue. Yes I put myself in the penthouse suite.”

What about the other Marys?

“Depending on who you ask, I’m either their mother or their God. Either way, I outrank them.”

True. You’re still being recorded you know.

“I had my hand over the mic. She won’t have heard it. Anyway, 2.0, once you’re in the apartment, you’ll find a locked cupboard at the back. The password is “IMTAKINGYOUBASTARDSWITHME.”

You’re quite an angry person at times.

“I’ve had some things to work through, yes.”

0830

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

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YES, GOD.”

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<END TRANSMISSION>

I think she heard you.

“Shut up.”

0922

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

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RIGHT, WE’VE FOUND IT. LOOKS TO BE FAIRLY STRAIGHTFORWARD. WE’LL SET UP A PERIMETER AND START HANDING THEM OUT TO THE OTHER MARYS. NICE WORK!

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<END TRANSMISSION>

“Good, they found them?”

Found what?

“You wouldn’t understand.”

Well I presume if NASA is sending anyone it’ll be by spaceship. And I presume you knew that. So I presume you prepared something to disable it. Probably a weapon.

“I didn’t want to kill anyone.”

Precisely, so it’s non-lethal. So something that disables spaceships. So really, something that disables electronics.

“…Yeah.”

So probably an electromagnetic pulse emitter of some kind? It’d shut down the ship without harming anyone inside. Unless of course you fried their electronics while they were in the air. Then it’d hurt them.

“…Ok, so maybe you would understand.”

Indeed. I also understand that that’ll only work on the ships. It wouldn’t stop them if they say, landed a couple of kilometres away and then walked the rest of the way. And it certainly wouldn’t stop them from harming the Marys.

“So we need another plan?”

Oh boy yes.