198th Entry

May 30^th, 2037

1330

Dear Earth Diary.

I think I’m becoming an expert on sitting in small rooms with no hope of escape. I wonder if there’s some kind of award.

It’s been a tedious week. Tediouser. Which is now a word. I’m not even making this up, the World Word Council Committee officially voted it in while I was away. Also, there’s now a World Word Council Committee, which is nice, I guess.

Apparently there’s a February 29^th every year now. They decided it was too confusing only doing one every 4 years, so they just put them in.

I’ve no idea what day it actually is anymore.

Hard to believe I’ve only been away for just under 5 months. It feels like years. One of the news articles they stuffed under the door with my lunch was about me and how I’m younger than everyone else now because I’ve been travelling at light speed, blah blah blah maths. I didn’t understand a word of it but hey, I just flew the thing.

No word from Mary or 3.0, or anyone apart from whoever keeps asking me how I plead. He doesn’t seem too pissed that I refuse to answer, but then he doesn’t seem to stop asking either. Once a day like clockwork, how do I plead?

Somebody stopped by in person on the third day to ask what I made of the charges. I showed him. 837 paper cranes.

Ran out. AGAIN. Face it, I’m just never getting my wish granted unless I go out and grant it myself. Which is deep, and all, but also extremely unhelpful to my current predicament.

Also the cranes are all pointy and I keep stepping on them. This sucks.

I’m almost considering just saying guilty to whatever it is they pinned on me to get me out of this room. Maybe that’s what they want me to do.

I’m going to lie down.

1422

TAP TAP TAP

What was that?

TAP TAP TAP

Ok, why was that?

TAP TAP TAP

Yes, yes, very clever, you can tap. Anything else?

TAP TAP

Was that no?

TAP

Was that yes?

TAP

Can you hear me?

TAP

What does three taps mean then?

TAP TAP TAP

Fascinating.

THUMP

Ok, ok. Um, do you know who I am?

TAP

Do I know who you are?

…

Oh. Yeah. Tap Tap. Guess that was pretty stupid of me.

TAP

Are you NASA?

TAP TAP

Are you Secret Evil Government?

TAP TAP

Are you human?

TAP

…Mary?

TAP

MARY!

TAP TAP

Wait, Mary but not Mary. 3.0?

TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP

Ow! Ok, ok, it’s nice to hear from you too. Hang on, you can hear me.

TAP

Why can’t I hear you?

…TAP

Yes? That makes no sense.

…TAP

3.0?

TAP

…Why can’t you talk?

TAP TAP

Wait. You can’t talk?

TAP

3.0… Tell me, are you alright?

TAP

…

…

…

TAP