205th Entry

June 4^th, 2037

1135

Dear Earth Diary.

Well if they’re trying to kill me, at least they chose to do it deliciously. This isn’t half bad.

Maybe one more slice. I’m already dead, no need to worry about my waistline.

Hmm, this would go great with some bacon… what’s this?

There’s a note in the cake. Which I just accidentally ate the corner of. Hopefully there wasn’t anything important in that bit.

“Sorry to hear you’ll be dying soon.”

How thoughtful. I think.

“Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to escape?”

Yes. Continue, unhelpful note.

“Such a shame there isn’t. I mean, there’s no way you’ll ever find out the code to your cell door is 4447-“

…DAMN IT. I ate the last number.

Is that part of a 2? Or a 7? I… damn my stomach. Or teeth. Oh just damn the entire evolution of the human digestive system.

That’s it, I’m becoming a jellyfish.

1137

Ok, so there’s really only 10 possible combinations. And from the bit I can see, it can’t be a 6, 9, 8, 5, or 4. Unless they’re really bad at numbers. So that’s only 4 options. Easy. Soon I will taste freedom!

Which hopefully tastes like cake.

Alright…

44471

PASSWORD INCORRECT. FLOOR WILL ELECTRIFY AFTER TWO MORE FAILED ATTEMPTS.

…Well great.

44472

PASSWORD INCORRECT. ONE ATTEMPT REMAINS.

Aargh! I don’t want to die! This was a bad idea.

Instead, I could just sit in my cell for a week. And then die.

Well, here goes nothing.

4447…

Which is it… 3 or 7? Life or death? Which number is my favourite –

PASSWORD ACCEPTED. THANK YOU. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM.

It was just 4447?

YES.

And you have voice control?

YES.

But what’s on the paper? There was the edge of another number, I saw it right there on the note…

Oh. That’s a crumb.

I nearly died because of a crumb.

Yup.

…Let’s get the hell out of there.

1142

PASSWORD ACCEPTED

Should probably not leave the cake here. It was quite delicious.

Plus, um, we might get ants or something.

1145

Right, now if I was a designer of prison complexes… where would I design an exit?

All the doors look the same. Big, white, and… doory.

Guess I could try this one.

WHIIIIIIIIIIIR

Nope. A lab. Not an exit. Do labs have exits? Probably not. Alright, next one.

“Well, aren’t you going to say hello?”

Who said that?

“Over here, dummy.”

…3.0? Is that you?

“Long time no see.”

Well, I actually can’t see you.

“Look down.”

Are you on the floor?

“Cold.”

The table?

“Warm!”

You’re not on the table. There’s just lab equipment and a brain in a jar. Ew.

“Gee, thanks.”

…You’re a brain in a jar?

“So they tell me. I don’t have eyes.”

Oh my God. What did they do to you?

“They made me into a brain. And then put me in a jar.”

I don’t know what to say.

“Hello would work.”