January 18th, 2037
0630
Dear Space Diary.
One day since the moon, so presumably NASA are going to test fire the ftl drive today. Not that they’ve confirmed that yet. In fact they haven’t spoken to me since I informed them I had passed the moon yesterday. Evidently knowing when I might possibly explode isn't considered important.
0636
Spoke too soon; NASA just called. Tersely informed me that the ftl drive will be fired at 0900, and that the general consensus round the station is that it’s fairly unlikely to explode, but if it does, I’ll be incinerated before I know anything has gone wrong. How reassuring.
Have also been informed that senior military personnel are monitoring my logs and if I could please stop beginning my entries with “Dear Space Diary” it would be greatly appreciated.
0637
Dear Space Diary.
No.
0800
Drive being fired in one hour. Been rather dull now that the moon is behind me, there’s really nothing much to see. Ate breakfast. The instructional brochure I was given shortly before take off informs me that significant advances have condensed all my vitamin, mineral, and energy needs via nanotechnology into a creamy nutritional paste.
It tastes as good as it sounds.
I can condense the bathroom situation into one extremely painful word. Tubes.
Think I’ll reread my book again.
0850
Drive being fired in ten minutes. Despite myself I’m little interested to see what’s going to happen. The possible expected outcomes are:
1. It fails and I explode.
2. It works and I go mad from the strain of travelling faster than light.
3. It works and I am extremely bored for the next five weeks.
Not entirely thrilled by any of these options.
0858
Firing in two minutes.
0900
This is it…
0903
Or not.
0909
Just got off the phone to NASA. They forgot to initialise the third right coupling, meaning the system aborted into failsafe. I asked them if this meant I was going to explode. They hung up.
0929
Still not mad or blown up. Am very bored though, so maybe it worked after all.
0944
NASA again. They’re going to retry firing now. Apparently if all goes well I should feel a small amount of discomfort. Nothing yet. Won’t hold my brrrz
#################################################################### ================-----_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__-__-__-__-___-___-___-____-_____________
<SYSTEM OFFLINE>
<SYSTEM REINITIALISED>
…
January Cth 0327
0Q1Z
… I never want to do that, ever, again.
0630
Dear Space Diary.
One day since the moon, so presumably NASA are going to test fire the ftl drive today. Not that they’ve confirmed that yet. In fact they haven’t spoken to me since I informed them I had passed the moon yesterday. Evidently knowing when I might possibly explode isn't considered important.
0636
Spoke too soon; NASA just called. Tersely informed me that the ftl drive will be fired at 0900, and that the general consensus round the station is that it’s fairly unlikely to explode, but if it does, I’ll be incinerated before I know anything has gone wrong. How reassuring.
Have also been informed that senior military personnel are monitoring my logs and if I could please stop beginning my entries with “Dear Space Diary” it would be greatly appreciated.
0637
Dear Space Diary.
No.
0800
Drive being fired in one hour. Been rather dull now that the moon is behind me, there’s really nothing much to see. Ate breakfast. The instructional brochure I was given shortly before take off informs me that significant advances have condensed all my vitamin, mineral, and energy needs via nanotechnology into a creamy nutritional paste.
It tastes as good as it sounds.
I can condense the bathroom situation into one extremely painful word. Tubes.
Think I’ll reread my book again.
0850
Drive being fired in ten minutes. Despite myself I’m little interested to see what’s going to happen. The possible expected outcomes are:
1. It fails and I explode.
2. It works and I go mad from the strain of travelling faster than light.
3. It works and I am extremely bored for the next five weeks.
Not entirely thrilled by any of these options.
0858
Firing in two minutes.
0900
This is it…
0903
Or not.
0909
Just got off the phone to NASA. They forgot to initialise the third right coupling, meaning the system aborted into failsafe. I asked them if this meant I was going to explode. They hung up.
0929
Still not mad or blown up. Am very bored though, so maybe it worked after all.
0944
NASA again. They’re going to retry firing now. Apparently if all goes well I should feel a small amount of discomfort. Nothing yet. Won’t hold my brrrz
#################################################################### ================-----_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__-__-__-__-___-___-___-____-_____________
<SYSTEM OFFLINE>
<SYSTEM REINITIALISED>
…
January Cth 0327
0Q1Z
… I never want to do that, ever, again.
No comments:
Post a Comment