Dear Space Diary: Forty-Ninth Entry

March 10^th, 2037

2015

Dear Space Diary.

Twenty minutes of travel and no end in sight. I know we’re travelling pretty slowly, but how far does this tube go?

I’ve spent the time having another look around the ship. I’m more and more convinced that the Zubrin had a fairly large cargo and some external engines when it left Earth, but both are gone.

It is possible they broke off during the flight, or it was left on or around Mars before it somehow ended up here. Somehow, I don’t think so.

2017

NASA, I’m reporting in. Currently travelling down Alien Death Tube towards its origin.

Hoping origin is Death tube is not Death. Hope not necessarily high.

Still don’t know why Lightdog is taking me. It seems to be a basic retrieval device. I’m more inclined to think robotic than alien, but who knows.

I can see light shining through the tube walls. I think we’re back on the surface. I never saw these tubes on the surface. Then again, I haven’t exactly explored every inch. Or indeed, more than one inch. I all saw was my landing site, the pit I landed in, and a straight line between there and the rubbish pit I ended up in. Not really enough to make a conclusive analysis.

Hang on, NASA sent me a map shortly before I landed that they’d mapped out by telescope. It looked pretty barren, but maybe I missed something. I better take a look.

2020

Wait. NASA sent that to MY ship. I’m not in my ship. I’m in the Zubrin.

Universe: 1, Ability to think: 0.

NASA, if you’re reading my entries, please send me another map, I want to look for structures or evidence of the tubes.

2050

UNABLE TO SEND ANOTHER MAP. WE SENT YOU OUR LAST ONE. BESIDES, THERE WAS NOTHING ON THERE THAT LOOKED LIKE STRUCTURES, SO YOU WOULDN’T NEED A MAP ANYWAY.

2055

Um, ok. Hang on, aren’t they digital? Couldn’t you just send me another copy?

2130

UM, YES.

SYSTEM CRASH.

BUGGER.

2135

That’s a fairly amateur mistake, NASA. You really should back these things up.

Please collate another map for me ASAP; I need to check these tubes out.

2210

THANK YOU FOR YOUR DEDICATION TO THE MISSION, BUT WE JUST CHECKED. THERE ARE NO TUBES ON THE MAP.

YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK AGAIN, IT’S ALL GOOD.

2213

…I thought you sent me the last copy?

2300

THE DEPARTMENT YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS NOW CLOSSED. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.

2303

BEEP.

2320

Ok, what the hell is going on NASA? You landed me here and told me to explore, why when I finally start are you being so evasive?

2315

Also, you misspelt closed.

2355

*CLOSED.

Dear Space Diary

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Forty-Ninth Entry

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