Forty-Third Entry

March 11^th, 2037

1440

Dear Space Diary.

I’m so hungry. Need to eat soon.

I know people have survived for longer on little to no food. They’ve probably been through ships that were harder than the hardships I’ve currently faced. And many have been trapped under closets before.

True, they’ve probably not been trapped under a closet on an alien planet after narrowly avoiding being sucked into an alien death tube after being kidnapped by strange dog like ball of light alien thing, but a closet’s a closet.

But you know what? I’m hungry. So cut  me some slack.

Or better still, some cake.

Mmm. Cake.

1500

I’m sorry, I got distracted for a minute there. I was thinking. Thinking about cake.

1520

Damn, it happened again.

1525

What makes this all the more frustrating is that a nutritious but undelicious food is only centimetres away from my outstretched hand. The tube that feeds out the nutritional paste came loose in the crash and is now lying next me.

But I can’t move my hand close enough. And the ship is lying on an angle and I think I’m starting to slide away.

What’s more, my elbow is currently being eaten by the 20 year deceased former pilot, Mary. Well, not actually. She’s only a skull. (the rest of her is around here somewhere. I’m worried she is in fact in the closet that’s pinned me) So it’s difficult for her to eat, well, anything, given she lacks a stomach or other essential digestive devices. But she latched on to my elbow as she rolled past.

Hmm. She’s pretty good at this whole gripping thing.

...And she seems quite big headed too. Not literally, she seemed quite humble in what I read of the logs. But, um, literally, big headed.

Hmm. An idea presents itself. A rather tasteless, tactless, disrespectful idea.

1533

Respect be damned, I want food.

Took some doing, but I managed to dislodge Mary from my elbow. She almost made a break for it (as only a rolling skull can) but I managed to catch  her before she escaped).

Now, let’s see what we can do.

1535

Holding a skull in such a way that you can attempt to latch onto something with its teeth is harder than I previously thought. Most of the, um, holes, are on the front. But I’ve got a grip on the back now. Trying to nudge the tube over to me.

1536

Dropped it! I dropped Mary! She’s rolling away. Come back Mary!

Phew, caught her with my foot.

Ok, gently, gently lift my leg. Ok that’s as far as it’ll go. Now reach down...

Got her! Ok, let’s try this again.

1538

Nudged the tube a couple of times. Not really moving yet. I’ll try again.

Good angle... come on, I want... some... food... Did it!

Ok Mary, you can sit over here while I eat.

1540

Oh that’s good. Food. Yum.

1542

...Stop looking at me like that, Mary.