110th Entry

March 21^st, 2037

0710

Dear Space Diary.

<I’M SORRY; I DID NOT DETECT A RESPONSE. TO ACCESS YOUR NEW PASSWORD, PLEASE ANSWER THE SECURITY QUESTION, WHICH FOR YOUR CONVEIENCE HAS BEEN CHOSEN FOR YOU BY NASA MARKETING. Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE POPULAR NASA MASCOT?>

…

<NO RESPONSE DETECTED. IF YOU ARE ASLEEP, PLEASE SAY “I AM ASLEEP” AND TRY AGAIN IN 8 HOURS. IF YOU ARE LAZY, PLEASE HURRY UP. Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE POPULAR NASA MASCOT?>

…I don’t have one.

<I’M SORRY, YOUR RESPONSE “I DON’T HAVE ONE” IS NOT FOUND IN OUR DATABASE, THEREFORE CANNOT BE TRUE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN.>

Sigh. …Supernovey?

<THAT IS CORRECT. SUPERNOVEY IS YOUR FAVOURITE NASA MASCOT THAT KIDS EVERYWHERE LOVE. HE’S A BLAST TO PLAY WITH.>

<WE WOULD ALSO HAVE ACCEPTED MARTY MARS ROVER,  AND JOVIAL JUPITER JAMES.>

<HOWEVER WE ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO ACCEPT PLUTONICUS.>

<ORDER YOURS TODAY! YOUR NEW PASSWORD IS “SUPERNOVEY4EVA.” PLEASE LOGIN NOW.>

I’m tempted to click “Forgot Password” right away, but I don’t think it’ll actually get me anywhere. Anyway. Got through all that, let’s get back into the system.

0714

<WELCOME BACK. YOU HAVE…  2 NEW MESSAGES>

…2??? That’s it? Really? I thought NASA would have been bugging the hell out of me by now. Surely they’re wondering what I’m up to?

I’m almost offended.

0716

Newest message first I guess.

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

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I DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME. THEY’VE FOUND OUT I’VE SENT YOU THE REPORT. AT ANY MOMENT THEY’LL BE COMING TO ESCORT ME FROM THE OFFICE.  I WON’T BE ABLE TO SEND ANY MORE MESSAGES.

I’LL HAVE TO START JOB HUNTING ON MONDAY. I HATE JOB HUNTING.

I’M GETTING OFF TRACK. LISTEN, I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM YOU, BUT UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THAT THE PROJECT FAIL. IT HAS TO. THE RESCUE SHIP IS REAL, BUT IT’S NOT YOU THEY’RE COMING TO RESCUE. THEY’LL TRY AND TAKE YOU BACK, BUT THEY’LL STILL CONSIDER IT A SUCCESS IF THEY LEAVE YOU BEHIND.

YOU HAVE TO STOP THEM FROM GETTING THEIR HANDS ON THE CLONES. I DON’T KNOW WHO BOUGHT OUT THE TOP BRASS AT NASA, BUT THEY’RE WORKING FOR SOMEONE. THEY WEREN’T SO BAD AT FIRST, BUT THEN THEY STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS AND NOW THEY’VE GOT NEW LEADERS. ONES THAT DON’T ASK QUESTIONS BECAUSE THEY ALREADY HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.

WE’RE GOOD PEOPLE. BUT THEY’RE UP TO SOMETHING AND WE DON’T LIKE IT.

I BETTER GO, THEY’LL BE HERE SOON, AND IT’S BETTER IF THEY DON’T KNOW I’M TALKING TO YOU, IT’S SAFER FOR YOU.

MY LAST MESSAGE EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. THE SHUT DOWN CODES, THE FACILITY WEAK POINTS, EVEN THE LIGHTDOG PROTOCOLS. GUARD IT CAREFULLY, YOU’LL NEED IT, IF YOU’RE GOING TO STOP THEM.

STOP THE PROJECT. YOU HAVE TO.

GOODBYE.

__

<END TRANSMISSION>

0720

…Wow. I don’t quite know what to say.

…I guess I’ve got work to do.

Let’s play his other message.

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

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YOUR MAILBOX IS FULL. OLD MESSAGES DELETED. HAVE A NICE DAY.

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<END TRANSMISSION>