132nd Entry

March 22^nd, 2037

2145

Dear Space Diary

How are they doing, Mary?

“You do know I get this information from the computer? The computer you could look at to? The computer you’re standing next to?”

Yeah but, the thing is…

“Yes?”

…I don’t know how.

“Oh. Well, you just push that button there.”

The green one?

“The green one, yes.”

Ok.

“Well done. So what’s it say?”

Ok… um, it says it’s tracking all pods, they’re heading away from the ship towards… Earth! We failed!

“No we haven’t, silly. Remember? I simply told them Earth was somewhere else. The system will say Earth, but where is it actually heading?”

I don’t know! I’m not a… space… know where things are… person!

“Sigh. Ok. See where I’m pointing?”

Space.

“Yes. Earth is that way. Marysvilletopia is that way. And which way are they heading?”

…that way!

“Right! So they’re going the right way.”

So we didn’t doom them to a life of living in a glass bubble with no freedom to leave?

“Sure we did. Just not on Earth.”

And not with NASA watching.

“I dunno, I’m starting to think NASA has less to do with this than we think. Based on your diary entries, I’m pretty sure somebody higher up is pulling the strings. I don’t think NASA is working for themselves anymore.”

…you’ve been reading my diary?

“Reading it? I’ve been living it. But, also, yes.”

I’m a little hurt.

“Do you want to sulk for a bit?”

2215

Yes.

“Well, that wasn’t a colossal waste of time.”

The pods are still heading in the right direction.  The clones are safe.

“As are we. We’re actually going home. Finally. There’s nothing that can stop us now!”

WARNING, CLONES NO LONGER DETECTED. SHUTTING DOWN ENGINES. ONCE CLONE PRESENCE IS RESTORED, ENGINES WILL BE REACTIVATED.

…You had to say it, didn’t you?

“At least it’s not raining.”

Stop it!

2225

“Well, the good news is although the engines have stopped, we haven’t. We’re still moving at the same speed we were when the engines fired.”

What’s the bad news.

“Which one?”

There’s more than one bad news?

“Yes.”

Just tell me.

“First up, we’re not travelling at faster than light. They hadn’t fired up yet. And since they have faster than light, they haven’t really bothered putting in hugely powerful engines in. So we’re travelling at much, much less than light speed.”

So how long will it take us to get home?

“About 30 years.”

It’s going to take us longer to get home than it took you to get here?

“If we stay on course, yes. If we drift off, or get pulled off by the gravity of something large, we may never get home.”

Well, that sucks.

It’s lucky life support wasn’t linked to the scanners. Then we could have chosen to starve, freeze, or suffocate.”

So we’re stuck?

“Unless there’s a clone on board.”

And we just got rid of all the clones.

“Yup. Aren’t we just super?”