170th Entry

April 3^rd, 2037

0835

Dear Space Diary

Several good things happened this morning.

First, 3.0 is ok and awake in 2.0’s old clone tank. We’re not sure how long we have to keep her in there but we figure a day to be on the safe side. Well, Mary and I figure that. 3.0 figures that we’re low down dirty slugs. She wasn’t agreeable to my point that, as gastropods, slugs are usually low and dirty, though down is very much on a case by case basis. So we agreed to give each other some space.

Well, I agreed to give each other some space.

Second, 2.0 all the other Marys are fine. Turns out 2.0 had a brain wave roughly when we did and realised that she was the only one unaffected, and the only real difference between the two was that she had spent an extended amount of time back in the clone tank due to her, ahem, little fall. Little in the same way that Big Ben is little. The cloning facility was shut down, but the vats were still in good working order.

They’re doing well,  although getting angry after waking up inside a cloning device seems to be a fairly Maryish trait. I haven’t tried it on the original Mary.

Don’t especially plan to either.

And thirdly, I had breakfast, and it was delicious.

Admittedly probably not as important as the first two, but it was very delicious. There were hash browns and everything. It was so good I decided to have another breakfast to make the best of things. Besides, things have been a little crazy here of late, so being able to sit down for a normal meal is kind of a big deal.

And, well, hash browns.

So now, finally, I can relax. Just sit here, finish my third breakfast, and listen to the faint humming of the ship, slightly drowned out by the faint abuse floating up from the clone tank.

Yes, things are preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-$#&(*@#&$*@#$!@#!@#!@#================-----_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__-__-__-__-___-___-___-____-_____________

<SYSTEM OFFLINE>

0954

And we’ve jumped to light speed! And the clock’s working and everything.

This calls for more hash browns.

1015

3.0’s been awfully quiet. I better go and see how she’s doing.

1023

Hey  3.0, how you going?

…

3.0?

…

You’re not fooling anyone you know. I know you’re alive.

“No really, I’m dead.”

No you’re not.

“Prove it.”

Ok, well, 1. You’re in a clone tank that is designed to repair and restore your body meaning it’s almost physically impossible to die while in there.

“…Yeah ok. And 2?”

And 2. Dead people don’t really say ‘No really, I’m dead.’

“Shut up.”

Still angry at me?

“Ugh. No not really. Just been a bit trying. What was that thing before where it felt like my stomach ate me?”

That would be the jump to lightspeed.

“What, the engine worked?”

Yes. You fixed it.

“…So I saved your life?”

Well, yes, but humility is always the appropriate –

“BOW BEFORE YOUR SAVIOUR, MORTAL.”