June 4th,
2037
1203
Dear Space Diary
Well, how about this door?
Damn it. Another conference room. 5 doors and
I still haven’t found their hidden secret clone lab. This isn’t going to be as
easy as I thought.
Have to keep going. I have a purpose now. I
have to save humanity! Or kill a small specific subsection of it, depending on
how much progress they’ve made.
Hmm. Actually I’m not sure I could kill
someone. I’m no stone cold killer.
Mr Rock probably is, though.
…hehehe.
Puns later. Thwarting Evil now.
Why do they even want clones anyway? What are
they going to do with 300 hundred confident self-educated women?
Maybe I don’t want the answer to that.
Also, why are they doing this on Earth at
all? I thought the whole point was they couldn’t’ here, so they tried on Mars,
but missed.
Stop asking yourself questions you don’t know
the answer to.
Right now, I think I need to come up with a
better plan than “just try the doors randomly until you find it.” I wonder if
there’s a map for this place.
Maybe one more door.
1205
“Who are you?”
Ah. Not a conference room.
Looks to be a break room. For guards.
“Is that…”
I better run.
“He’s talking to himself. It’s him.”
“Holy cow, you’re right! It’s HIM!”
Er, yes it’s… me? I know I’m like, out of my
cell and…
“Red alert. IT’S HIM!”
Oh dear.
“Surround him! Don’t let him leave!”
Er, that’s not really necessary. I’ll just go
back to your cell.
“Your cell? After all the trouble we went
through to break you out?”
…What?
“I saw him first, he’s signing mine first.”
Signing what?
“Sign my gun.”
Um, well, do you have a pen?
“Got one special.”
Fine, ok. ….There.
“…’Please don’t shoot me.’ Oh that is
brilliant. That’s classic Space Guy that is.”
Forgive my rudeness, but what the hell is
going on?
“I can’t believe I got a chance to meet the
actual Space Guy.”
I take it I’m Space Guy?
“Man, you’re a legend round here. We’ve been
listening to your adventures ever since they started broadcasting.”
Why would NASA be broadcasting?
“Somebody’s been leaking them! Getting the
truth out, man.”
Oh.
“All the clones, the city, the space ship.
Right up until you woke up near Earth. Then you just… vanished.”
Ah.
“We were so excited when you turned up here!
We’re holding Space Guy prisoner!!”
…
“…Sorry about that.”
Oh it’s fine. I escaped.
“We helped!”
“I got the door code.”
“I wrote the note!”
“I decided what flavour cake!”
Good man.
“And now, I’m going to get you out of here.
Let’s go.”
I can’t go.
“Don’t be crazy! If they find out you’re
loose they’ll kill you.”
I’m grateful for what you’ve done. Really.
But I have to stop the clones from being made.
“…You don’t mean.”
Yes.
“They’re making more?”
Yes.
“…Okay I quit.”
“Me too!”
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