214th Entry

June 4^th, 2037

1940

Dear Earth Diary

“We should probably get started.”

Just give me a minute.

1941

“We should probably get started.”

…Fine.

1947

Mary is off looking for some kind of inflammable that we can use to burn down the lab.

Given NASA launch rockets from here I’m guessing it won’t be too hard to track down at least something.

I am currently engaged in some external grief management. By which I mean, smashing everything in sight with a very large hammer. Sadly I couldn’t find a crowbar but a hammer will do just fine.

Almost everything in sight, anyway. I’ve taken 3.0 and put her in a bag after checking her jar very carefully for leaks. I know she’s… dead, but I just can’t stomach leaving her here. Maybe I can try and bury her. Or at least rent a ship and toss her overboard.

Preferably away from any popular beach spots. I really don’t want to have to answer any of those questions.

Now that she’s safely stowed and spill resistant, I’ve gotten on with the mindless destruction. It’s actually…

SMASH

Very…

SMASH

Therapeutic.

SMASH

That looks important.

SMASH, SMASH, SMASH

2002

“Hey, I’m back. Found something that I think will do the job but I’d appreciate your – Oh my.”

Hello.

“You worked very fast.”

I like to be efficient.

“Scarily efficient.”

Thank you.

“Please put down the very large hammer.”

Ok.

“Thank you. Let me just take that and put it allllllll the way over here.”

Sure.

“Ok! Safety restored. Now –“

Do you want this hammer as well?

“…Yes. Yes I do.”

How about this one?

“How many of those do you have?”

2005

“Great. And now I’ll just lock these in here… And all sorted. Now, take a look at this.”

What is it?

“Rocket fuel, I think. Something I found in a test lab. Syphoned it out of a booster rocket.”

‘Rocket Fuel X. For when W just isn’t strong enough.’ Well I see their ability to name things has just gone from strength to strength.

“Fuel is fuel. And this will burn strong.”

And fast.

“Good.”

No, I mean, really fast. We don’t want to be in the same room when this goes off. Or really, the same building.

“I was thinking you could stay behind and nobly sacrifice yourself.”

…I think we’ve had enough of those for today.

“Or we could do one of those trails of fuel where you light the other end and it winds its way all the way back down to here where it explodes.”

Can we?

“Sure.”

Can we really?

“I thought you’d get a kick out of that.”

2009

Wheeeee!

“You are in a strange mood today.”

Let me have my moment.

2014

Ok so slight problem. Everything in the lab is doused with fuel.

“Good.”

But we’re out of fuel. We’re going to need some more.

“So let’s go!”

Sure. Hang on, let me just grab my bag.

“…What’s in the bag?”

Nothing.