Twenty-Second Entry

March 5^th, 2037

0400

Dear Space Diary.

NASA advises they’re nearly finished updating the software to allow manual control of the conventional engines to my computer. When that’s done, I will attempt to pilot the ship out of this hole and onto the surface.

Whereupon, NASA, I will DO. NOTHING. Until you come and get me. Get your own rock samples. Earth has plenty of rocks. Look at them.

Grumbling aside, I am looking forward to getting out of here. Being trapped in this hole is not the same as travelling through uncharted space. It’s just me sitting in a small canister, with nothing but blackness outside the windows to look at, and nothing to do but write my entries and suck on nutritional paste.

Actually now that I think about it, it’s exactly like travelling through uncharted space.

I was however not hanging upside down, so that’s a plus for making these rockets do their stuff. Hurry up NASA, my eyebrows are going to fall off at this rate.

0900

“Nearly finished” my – Oh good, it’s done.

0930

This all looks reasonably simple. Without any actual controls, they’ve used the computer’s touch screen to create some virtual controls for the four engines. By firing them at the right intervals, I should about to turn the craft, and then fire all four simultaneously, shooting me out of this hole in the ground like a champagne cork. A rocket powered champagne cork. Out of a hole in the ground.

0935

May need to work on that simile.

0945

Right, let’s give this a shot. So if I need to turn round, I just need to fire one of the side engines, by pressing this button here...

1000

I wasn’t actually aware it was possible to be more upside down than I was, but I stand corrected. Turns out these rockets are more powerful than I give them credit for. The ship made about 6 revolutions before I managed to get my finger off the button. They’re pressure sensitive it seems. I’m going to have to press softer next time.

On the upside, at least I’ve something else to look at now.

On the downside, I need to eat lunch again.

1030

Oh, an instruction manual. Thanks for sending that now, NASA, I could have used that 45 minutes ago.

1100

NASA did send it 45 minutes ago. Stupid long distance communication.