Twenty-Third Entry

March 5^th, 2037

1500

Dear Space Diary.

Almost finished reading the manual that NASA have sent through for the engines. An easy read it is not. After 65 pages of detailed schematics and specifications, I was more than ready for some actual instructions, but what I got was this:

“To engage and fire rocket engines, the user interface must be initialised and engines primed to receive power. This will be verified by the red indicator light emitting diode in place on the upper left quadrant of the front mounted display panel.”

Translation: Turn on the engine. You’ll see a red light.

“Unless user interface is initialised, engines may not function as intended, and as a result will be unable to achieve kinetic motion to thermal thrust required to perform operations as set out in pages 31-54 of this manual, resulting in a null state of movement and operation.”

Translation: If you do not turn on the engine, you cannot use the engine.

“Engine power is directly proportionate to strength applied to engine activator device. This has been transformed via virtual user control interface to a pressure panel. When pressure is increased by a definable magnitude, engine power will be exponentially increased to match.”

Translation: The more pressure applied, the more powerful the engines.

“Once power supply has been verified, engines can be engaged by applying A: human digits to B: virtual interface via physical contact. Please press item A to item B. This will commence engine operation.”

Translation: Push the button with your finger.

Push the button. With my finger. Do you honestly think I couldn’t have worked that part out on my own?

1505

They have included diagrams on how to press the button with my finger.

1515

Manual largely unhelpful. It has however indicated that there is a flight computer installed in the system that I can use to set trajectories and direction of flight, meaning I at least don’t have to fire it at random and hope for the best.

Which seems to have been NASA’s overall strategy so far.

1545

NASA resent that.

1640

Ok, I think I’ve got this set up correctly. It should aim for the area with the most light (hopefully tunnel entrance) and align the ship up to it.

Here goes nothing.

1645

It worked! I can see the entrance! NASA, I did it!

1715

NASA have gone home for the day.