188th Entry

May 8^th, 2037

0744

Dear Space Diary

Where’s my bacon?

I wanted that bacon. It was mine. Where is it? Did I knock it on the floor? Did the cleaning bots get it? Was it rats? Space rats?

…Are there such a thing as space rats? No, probably not.

I’m actually not even sure if there’s such a thing as cleaning bots. The place is kept pretty clean sure, but then we haven’t actually made a whole lot of mess. Let’s do a test.

0747

Well that’s one mystery solved. But now there’s butter all over the floor.

Maybe I should have just tested one small area rather than just going to town on the floor. I thought it might produce a faster response. As it turned out all it produced was more butter on the floor.

There’s no trace of the bacon. It’s just gone. Who would do such a thing?

…3.0? Mary? Are you guys up.

I bet they’re waiting just out of view, ready to leap in and yell surprise.  They probably planned the whole thing to scare me as some kind of elaborate April fool’s. Well the joke’s on them.

It’s May.

Alright guys, very funny. You can give me my bacon back now.

Hmm.

Maybe they're hiding by the sleep pods. I’ll go and… whoa!

That butter is really slippery.

0750

Bloody door’s closed again. Good thing I remember the code.

…It’s not working. But I used it less than an hour ago. Why would the code change? The only way to change it is if you put in an override. Which I don’t know. Unless it’s the same as the code. Which would be a really stupid idea. Guess I shouldn’t rule it out.

Thank goodness it opens from the inside. They’ll just have to open it when they wake up.

Guess I must have imagined the bacon. My head is still pretty fuzzy from the sleep gas. I’ll go make some more.

Would be nice if I imagined the butter too but sadly I’m pretty sure I didn’t.

0800

…Ok now I’m questioning my sanity.

The bacon. Is back.

I’m very glad to see it and it tastes delicious. But where did it go?

…I really must be still fuzzy. Maybe I should lie down and clear my head.

0830

One of the drawbacks of being asleep for a month: I can’t sleep. I suppose that’s be expected.

Head is feeling pretty clear. But it was before too. I’ll give it a few more minutes.

THUMP

What was that? Did we hit something? Hang on, it wasn’t that huge a thump. Something must have fallen off a shelf somewhere.

Came from the kitchen I think. Maybe I forgot to put the plate away. I hope I didn’t break it. Butter and crockery. Just what I need.

0833

Don’t even know if we have a mop. Maybe in one of the 50 cupboards we…

Who the hell are you?!

And why are you unconscious?