217th Entry

June 4^th, 2037

2200

Dear Earth Diary

Pipes in a warehouse. Warehouse pipes.

Well, I’ve no better ideas. Guess I should check it out. I was going there anyway.

2215

Alright I’m here. Come at me, pipes.

Actually don’t. Like, really don’t do that. Seriously.

Right. Pipes.

2225

There are a LOT of pipes in here. Like, dozens. I’m looking for some kind of pipe needle in a pipe haystack.

Note to self, don’t just add the word ‘pipe’ onto existing phrases.

2230

While I applaud that guard for the subtlety of his clue, (less so on his subtlety in general) I really don’t know what I’m looking for here.

There’s a bunch of pipes and ducts running along the roof. Presumably carrying water and electricity, though hopefully not at once. Nothing particularly interesting so I think I can rule them out.

Couple of pipes by the door. I think they’re just extension of the roof pipes.

There’s an absolutely massive pipe over in the far corner. Feels warm to the touch. Hmm. It is large enough to fit a person. Maybe they… pipe… the clones up here from a lab down below?

It’s not the stupidest theory I guess. They could send them up here, box them up and stack them.

Still doesn’t help me actually access the lab though.

Well, let’s think about this. If they send clones up by a pipe, then presumably it has to spit them out somewhere. And presumably it has to be somewhere low to the ground to avoid damaging the goods. And to avoid making a mess.

Ew.

Anyway, if that’s what they’re doing, it has to be around here somewhere. It’s a lot easier to see now that we’ve shipped all the clones out. But even so, this place is huge. Fortunately so is the pipe I’m looking for.

Ok. So, the pipe starts here… and goes straight down through the floor. Great. Let’s try the other way.

Starts here… and goes straight up through the roof.

Just great.

Guess I’ll just search the whole place then.

2251

Found it! At last. Way waaay over in the corner the pipe comes back down through the roof and stops about halfway down. Quite a high tech transport system, except for the bit where they just chucked an old mattress under the pipe to catch the Marys when they came through.

Budget cuts I’m guessing. Or it was originally built for something less squishy.

It also is going to make it significantly harder to get up there. There’s some empty boxes in the corner (we checked them before shipping out the Marys) that might be able to hold my weight if I stack them up.

2256

Good lord. Empty or not they’re bloody heavy.

2259

Uruuuuuururrrururrggh.

Now how the hell do I lift them?

2312

PANT, PANT, PANT

Oh God. Well… that’s… that’s one…

5 to go…

2315

Damn it! Just knocked the first box off. Back to…

Is that a forklift?