219th Entry

June 4^th, 2037

2359

Dear Earth Diary

3… 2… 1…

June 5^th, 2037

0000

Happy New… Day.

I really need to get some sleep. Well, can’t worry about that now. A large fluffy mattress at midnight is neither the time nor the place to think about getting some sleep.

…Actually.

0737

Right. Needed that. Onwards.

0739

So the pipe mouth is out. There’s no way I can get up there. I considered the forklift, but it wouldn’t go high enough, and I’d just be grabbing at dangling all over again.

While I assume my abilities would improve with practice, I’m not entirely sure the timeframe and my spine would allow it.

So I need to find another way down there. I’m going to try something I haven’t used very often in my life, but I’m told it can be quite effective.

I am going to try… logic.

GASP.

…Yes I just gasped at my own announcement. It’s been a rough few days.

Ok here goes.

1.     There must be another way down to the lab, as I’m going to presume that not everybody climbs up the pipe. Occupational Health & Safety Laws alone probably prevent that.

2.     The entrance is probably nearby. While it’s possible that the clone pipe could run for miles, I’m going to assume it doesn’t, since this seems to be a purpose built facility. So it’s probably right below us.

3.     So if there is another entrance, and if it is nearby, then it must therefore be a secret entrance.

So… I’m looking for a secret entrance, nearby!

Maybe.

Possibly.

Hopefully.

0742

If I were a secret entrance, where would I be?

To be fair, if I actually were a secret entrance, I would be unlikely to pose such a question, as I would be incapable of independent thought, or more likely, thought in general.

Fortunately as I’m not a secret entrance, I can ask such questions. However I cannot answer it, because I am not secret entrance. However, if I was a secret entrance, I couldn’t answer it anyway.

…My brain hurts and I have no coffee. Shut up and start looking.

0750

Right. Nothing around the pipe itself.

No secret door near the regular door.

No door near hiding under the mattress, but given I put that there that’s probably ok.

Only place left to look is the boxes. Which actually isn’t that far-fetched. They’re pretty high tech as far as boxes go. Life support systems and a few other things. You could hide a secret switch in one of these boxes pretty easily.

…There’s hundreds of the things.

0752

Nope.

0753

Nope.

0757

Nope.

Ugh. This is going to take forever. There’s got to be a faster way.

Ok, logic. The box is probably fixed to the shelf, as it’ll probably need to connect up to wherever the door is.

Wait, I think I remember the delivery guy complaining about one of the boxes earlier.

Although he did complain about pretty much everything.