193rd Entry

May 9^th, 2037

1330

Dear Space Diary

“For  the last time, let us in!”

No!

“We promise we won’t hurt you.”

You’ve already hurt me multiple times.

“…More.”

Try again.

“Listen. You’re in a lot of trouble. If you come out now I’ll do my best to protect you.”

You’re the one trying to arrest me!

“Alright, if you don’t come out I’ll make it even worse for you.”

You’ve already told me I’m going to get the worst possible punishment. What are you going to do, give me a 2^nd life sentence?

“…”

Any other avenues you’d like to try?

“Dude, tell him we have cookies!”

“Shut up, intern… um, we have…”

Nope.

“Damn it. We’ll be back. Come on. It’s not like he’s going anywhere. We’ll be back, do you hear me?”

You’re shouting. So yes.

STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP

Thank goodness for that. If I hadn’t bolted myself in here, they would have stormed in and I’d be locked up again. Or dead. Either way I’ll call this a win.

Now, how to escape from the room that I’ve bolted myself into.

Preferably without them finding out that I’ve escaped. The longer they’re distracted here, the more time the Mary’s have to swing into action.

So… how do I get out?

1340

Ok, so the door is bolted. The sink is fixed to the wall. There’s no secret passageway in the cupboard and the window doesn’t open. That’s a good thing, because where it leads to is space.

I am improperly dressed for space.

Which means that I am… out of options. Unless… where’s that breeze coming from?

1343

Found it!

There’s a ventilation duct in the corner of the room. A big one too. I’m not the thinnest guy in the room (wait, yes I am), but I should be able to fit in quite easily. The grates just screwed in too. There are only two possible problems.

One, it’s waaaay up there in the corner. It’s going to take some reaching.

And two. Breeze means fans. Big fans. Big, sharp, spinning death fans.

But it's the best chance I've got.

First, I’m going to need to get up there.

1347

Urgh.

Yaaaargh.

Eeeeeeeeeeeuuuurgh.

Damn it, why are tall things so heavy?

Ok, cupboard successfully under the vent. Looks high enough to comfortably reach the vent!

Now, how do I get on the cupboard?

1353

EEEEEEUUURRGGGH.

Why are short things heavy? Damn it, everything’s just heavy.

But a cabinet, two shelves, and a table are now all under the vent, arranged a suitably gradual staircase fashion.

I expended quite a lot of effort in order to be quite lazy.

I’ve also found a sturdy looking pipe that I think could be used as fan stopper. We’ll have to see how that plays out.

Almost managed to pry it free from the…

FZZZZZT KSSSHHHHH BZZZZZZZZZZZZ VVVVVVUUuuuuuuuuuuu

…What did I just do?

Whoa!

The gravity just went off. I can just float to the vent!

…after moving everything.