Fifty-Third Entry

March 12^th, 2037

0800

Dear Space Diary,

So I’m not as stuck here as I previously thought.

NASA and I conversed for another hour or so after my last entry. They confirmed my actual mission (which the assure me they were going to tell me about, like, really soon) was to evaluate the city, find Mary, and get back home again.

My ship actually has the luxuries of both a) faster than light travel, and b) brakes, and could in fact get me back to Earth in as little as five weeks.

A repair ship is really, actually, on its way, but it was never intended to pick me up, rather being reserved for the Zubrin and Mary, once I found them. I was to fly back on my own.

Which, as it turns out, I could have done any time. But they wanted me to find Mary before they clued me in on that little fact.

Now that I have been clued in, I took the opportunity to clue them in as to my opinion on the whole matter. Words were used. Ones I choose not to repeat.

The problem with shouting at someone who’s about ten light years away is that it takes about half an hour for a response to reach you, so by the time they react to your outburst you’ve gotten over it already, which makes their eventual apology hugely unsatisfying.

But, NASA did confirm that now that I have found Mary, or what’s left of her, I am free to depart. All they ask is I park the Zubrin somewhere safe but easy to access, set a homing beacon on it, and turn the lights off before I leave.

Then I’m free to fly home in my ship, and finally I will be OH CRAP WHERE IS MY SHIP?

I don’t know where my ship is. Like, at all. It went up the tube, and it wasn’t here when I caught up. Either it’s not here any longer, or it’s gone.

Should probably rephrase that.

Either it ended up somewhere else (pretty unlikely given I didn’t see any other exits to the tube), or… it’s been moved.

By the lightdogs? Possible I guess, although given what I know about their programming I would have expected them to have thrown it straight back on the rubbish heap.

Which, actually, they could have done.

But before I go trekking all the way back down there again; I should take a look around the city. It could be up here, after all.

So close to home, and yet so far! Mind you, by close, I mean ten light years. And by far, I mean however long it takes to walk to my ship, then ten light years.

Now that I think about it, the difference between close and far is fairly moot.

Time to take a look outside.

0810

Opening door.

0812

Oh, that’s right… Giant building blocking the only exit.

It’s all coming back to me.

Fifty-Second Entry

March 11^th, 2037

1645

Dear Space Diary,

So, NASA. Tell me what you know.

1715

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

__

DIFFICULT TO KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. WE KNOW SO MANY THINGS.

INCIDENTALLY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

__

1717

…It’s not my Birthday.

1817

__

NO, BUT WE HAD YOU THERE FOR A MOMENT.

__

1818

I’m starting to think this is not the usual radio operator I talk to.

1850

__

THEY’RE ON HOLIDAY. I WAS THE LAUNCH COMMAND ON BOTH YOUR FLIGHT, AND THE EARLIER ZUBRIN MISSION.

BUT ENOUGH PLEASANTRIES. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOUR DISCOVERIES ON THE PLANET OF… SPLAT.

BARBARA, MAKE A NOTE. FIRE THE PEOPLE WHO NAME OUR PLANETS.

I DON’T CARE, JUST FIRE THEM.

WHAT, PRECISELY, WOULD LIKE TO KNOW?

__

1853

What do you think? Are Mary’s logs true? Did you really plan to maroon her on Mars and build a city using those Light… processing units? Why would NASA want to build a city on Mars?

1915

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WE DIDN’T. THE ZUBRIN WAS NOT A NASA CREATED MISSION. WE WERE… HIRED.

__

1917

Hired?

1950

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I’M NOT AT LIBERTY TO SAY WHO BY, SO DON’T ASK.

THIS CONVERSATION WOULD GO A LOST FASTER IF YOU KEPT YOUR RESPONSES LONGER THAN SINGLE WORDS.

BARBARA, HAVE OUR PEOPLE WHO PREPARE REPORTS PREPARE A REPORT FOR OUR PILOT OUTLING THE ZUBRIN MISSION.

__

2050

…Hello?

2130

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…IT APPEARS THAT THE PEOPLE WHO NAME PLANETS ARE ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO PREPARE REPORTS. I SHOULD CHECK JOB DESCRIPTIONS IN FUTURE.

NEVER MIND. ALLOW ME TO START FROM THE BEGINNING.

NASA WERE HIRED IN 2012 TO DESIGN AND OUTFIT A MANNED VOYAGE TO MARS.  CONSTRUCTION MACHINES WERE SUPPLIED ON THE SHIP, DESIGNED TO BUILD A LIVABLE CITY OUT OF KNOWN MARS MATERIALS UPON ARRIVAL.

ALL OF THIS WAS ACHIEVEABLE VIA REMOTE OPERATION, BUT AT OUR EMPLOYER’S INSISTANCE, A HUMAN WAS INCLUDED. THIS ALLOWED MEDIA SUPPORT FOR THE FIRST MANNED MISSION TO MARS, AND ALLOWED COMPLEX OBSERVATIONS AND EXPERIMENTS TO BE PERFORMED.

THE SUBJECT WOULD NOT RETURN TO EARTH.

THE GOVERNMENT HAD EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN A PERMANENT LANDING ON MARS, SO WE… NEGLECTED TO TELL THEM THEY WOULDN’T BE COMING BACK. AN EXCUSE WAS PREPARED INVOLVING A LEAKY FUEL TANK PREVENTING DEPARTURE.

UNFORTUNATELY, MID FLIGHT THE VOYAGE ENCOUNTERED AN ASTEROID, WHICH OUR TEAMS AT NASA SOMEHOW FAILED TO NOTICE, BUT WHICH WAS HURTLING DIRECTLY TOWARDS EARTH.

REST ASSURED: THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR MONITORING FOR ASTEROIDS WERE IMMEDIATELY FIRED.

ON A RELATED NOTE, WE HAD TO CLOSE THE CAFÉ SHORTLY AFTERWARDS. WE DO A LOT OF MULTITASKING HERE, APPARENTLY.

AS YOU’VE READ, DUE TO SAVING THE WORLD (YOU’RE WELCOME, BY THE WAY), THE ZUBRIN DRIFTED OFF COURSE, CRASHING INTO SPLAT 20 YEARS LATER. YOU WERE SENT AS A RESCUE. ONCE AGAIN, WE WERE UNABLE TO INFORM YOU IN ADVANCE DUE TO LEGISLATION. SO WE STAGED A MALFUNCTION. AND HERE YOU ARE.

__

2135

…You mean, my ship works perfectly.

2200

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THE LEFT WINDSHIELD WIPER DOESN’T WORK, BUT OTHERWISE IT’S FINE.

__

<END TRANSMISSION>

Fifty-First Entry

March 11^th, 2037

1600

Dear Space Diary

Inside the Zubrin. Haven’t gone back to the city, but not much choice in the matter since there’s currently the remains of a giant, pink building blocking the door. Have been reading through Mary’s logs. NASA have been trying to message me for the past few hours but I’ve been ignoring them.

They can wait until I’ve finished reading.

1630

Little overwhelmed by what I’ve discovered. About Mary. About the Lightd… processing units. About the Zubrin and its failed mission. About their plan to build a giant city.

So what I saw out there was not in fact, final, clinching evidence of alien life on another planet. It was, in fact, final, clinching proof that NASA can’t aim for beans.

I suppose that’s not quite fair, the mission did not end as intended. And arguably they did save the entire human race. That’s got to be worth a few brownie points.

Seems weird they never, well, told anyone. If I just saved everyone’s lives, I sure as hell would be telling people. I’d hold press conferences, I’d do the university lecture circuit, I’d endorse a range of hair care products.

And yet, the first I’ve heard of it, the first that ANYONE outside NASA has heard of it is 20 years later. And only because I tripped over it.

And then, 20 years later, another mission (conveniently with a faster than light drive) has a similar overshoot of target, and manages to land EXACTLY on the planet where their previously lost ship ended up.

Probability: 1, NASA’s safety record: 0.

So, something’s going on. Not entirely sure what yet, but it’s something.

The city’s pretty impressive, though. They can’t have been here for more than 1-2 years, I would think, given the whole “Travel through space at slower the speed of light” thing. And that city was huge.

And also rather prone to falling over it seems. Apparently Splat doesn’t provide as good building materials as Mars does. Either that or the processing units are pretty inept.

Neither would surprise me.

1635

You know what? Screw it. They’re Lightdogs. Processing Units sounds so boring.

I’ve been checking out the hold in the back. The Lightdogs are all gone, I’m guessing they deployed automatically once the Zubrin “landed.” In the same way that dynamite “spreads out a little.”

So far I’ve seen three differently programmed Lightdogs. Yellows seem to all about fetching resources. Blues seem to be about building and repairing. Greens are all about the destruction, but I’m guessing that was a one off reprogram.

I wonder what else I’ll… just trod on something.

1637

It’s a USB device. This must be what Mary used to program the Greens. Hmm.

Probably shouldn’t leave it lying around. I’ll pocket it for now.

Now, time for answers, NASA. You’ve got some explaining to do!

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

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HAVE BEEN MONITORING YOUR LOGS. WE’VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO.

__

<TRANSMISSION ENDS>

1638

…Oh.

Er, good!

Interlude: The Fall Of The Zubrin - Part 6

TRANSMISSION CONTINUES:

September 22^nd – 2016

My name is Maria Harrison, Captain of the Zubrin, and I’m really quite terrified.

Didn’t sleep last night. Couldn’t stop thinking about what we’re going to do today. Or rather, what NASA are going to do today. I’m not a pilot or an engineer, so NASA will be controlling the ship throughout the operation via remote control from Earth. All I have to do is sit and wait.

While the ship I’m trapped inside gets piloted TOWARDS an asteroid.

So, yeah! Little freaked.

__

Ok, asteroid is close. Around now it will start pulling the ship in naturally.

Gah! Sorry, the rockets just fired, caught me by surprise. Guess NASA have started their work.

Little warning would be great next time, thanks guys.

__

This is kind of interesting actually, at least if you can look past the abject terror. Which I’m working on.

There are six rockets on the outside of the ship. Two big ones at the back, one at the front, and three forming a triangle in the middle. I know this, because, to pilot the ship, NASA have dialled into the ship’s computer, so I can see which buttons they’re pressing to fire them. So, you fire this one here, and then the ship moves around here…

Oh, a message from NASA.

“Ship in position.”

Yay!

“About to deploy reprogrammed processing units.”

Double yay!

“Rear doors opening in 30 seconds. Space suit recommended.”

Triple… AAAAARGGH!

Oh no, oh no, oh no, got to get the space suit ready, don’t want to eat vacuum and explode.

Do people actually… STOP THINKING! WEAR SPACESUIT!

__

Phew. Suit on, oxygen activated.

The doors are open.

…Wow. So… I’m in Space. Kind of.

The five units I reprogrammed have illuminated themselves, they look like giant green balls of light now. The effect is not displeasing.

They’re detaching themselves and floating down towards the asteroid. There, they’ll start dismantling it into a more harmless size collection of rocks that’ll either redirect thanks to changing mass, or burn up in Earth’s atmosphere before they hit the ground.

One, two, three, floating down. And there’s the 4^th.

Hang on, the 5^th one is stuck. It can’t get out.

…Well, I AM in a spacesuit. Why shouldn’t I free it?

Careful, careful… ah here, it’s caught on this handle… got it!

Be free, green light thingy!

…And off it goes. Mission complete, the doors are closing.

__

Ok, NASA, they’re out. Time to blast off!

__

I notice a distinct lack of blast off. Why aren’t we moving?

Oh no. Message from NASA, the remote control has stopped working. They can’t pilot me out! I’m going to crash!

…You know what, stuff that. Give me manual control.

__

No arguing with me, NASA. MANUAL CONTROL, HOW?

__

Thank you. Ok, no time to calculate thrust or anything. Let’s just hit the button that says “FULL POWER.”

__

It’s not working. We’re still being pulled in.

…hang on, I think… yes! We’re moving! Away we go.

WOOOO!!! WE DID IT! WE ESCAPED! WE SAVED THE HUMAN RACE! AND I HAVEN’T EAVEN HAD BREAKFAST YET!!!

I’m like, all kinds of awesome.

__

Well, that was tough, but a job well done NASA.

…NASA?

NASA why is that red light flashing?

__

RECORDS CORRUPTED, SEARCHING FOR NEXT VIEWABLE ENTRY.

SEARCHING.

SEARCHING.

LOCATED. 1 ENTRY. TRANSMITTING

September 22^nd – 2021

My name is Maria Harrison, Captain of the Zubrin, and this is my final entry.

Five years today since we saved Earth.

Yay.

Also five years since, in a desperate attempt to save myself from crashing into an asteroid, I burnt up the last of the fuel. Which we needed to, well, to slow down.

So, I missed Mars. I missed most of the solar system.

I missed home.

NASA estimate that I’ll at my speed and course, I will hit another planet. In about 15 years.

They even think it might be liveable. And they promise they’re going to work out a way to get me home.

But, the question that I’ve been asking myself over and over is: If I only had enough fuel to slow down on approach to Mars, how was I going to get home in the first place?

I don’t think I was ever going home, NASA.

So, I may survive this. I don’t know. But, either way, I’m done talking to you, NASA. This will be the last time we speak.

My name is Maria Harrison.

Goodbye.

Interlude: The Fall Of The Zubrin - Part 5

TRANSMISSION CONTINUES:

September 2 1^st – 2016

My name is Maria Harrison, Captain of the Zubrin, and you’re all about to die.

Gosh, that sounds quite dramatic. And, well, it is!

Still anxiously awaiting a response from NASA. They’re thinking very hard and are trying to come up with a solution to your predicament, as well as mine.

Meanwhile, the asteroid is getting larger. Or closer, anyway. I hope it’s not getting larger. That would be bad and weird.

It’s really quite unsettling. Brown in colour and covered with holes and caverns. Some of them look large enough to swallow my ship whole.

Which they might do, unless NASA can think of a way out of this.

Eep. I need to distract myself.

__

It turns out it’s difficult to distract yourself from a giant asteroid. There’s plenty of things I could be doing. I could play solitaire, read a book, do an inventory of the processors, do some exercises, any of these things.

But all of those things, engaging as they might be, don’t really help if the moment you lift your head you see a giant asteroid looming outside the window.

There it is now. Loom loom loom.

Stop it. Stupid Asteroid.

__

NASA have responded! They have a solution!

It’s… well, it’s very interesting, I’ll give them that.

They have uploaded to my computer a program A.I. for the processing units on board. I’m to upload it to five of the units.

Turns out there’s a bit more to my journey than I thought. I am indeed setting foot on Mars, and then turning around and going home after a chance to refuel by recycling elements in the atmosphere and surrounding terrain. That’s in part what these processing units are for.

But there’s more to it than that. When I go home, these things stay behind. Using the elements they know are readily available on Mars, they will deconstruct parts of the local landscape and recast it into, well, a city! They’re going to make an actual city on Mars, including power, and oxygen and everything! Then, when they get around to sending more people to Mars, a base will be all ready for them!

This is incredible, but the question I have to ask is, why? Space travel had been dead for years before I was sent in. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled and happy to be sent, but why the sudden interest?

Oh well, smarter minds than mine, I guess.

…Oh yes! The point of explaining all this is we’re going to reprogram five of them, so instead of chopping up stuff and building things out of it; they’re just going to chop up stuff and throw it away. They’ve got about two years before it gets to Earth by NASA’s estimate.

So all I have to do is get real close to the asteroid (eep), drop a few of these things out the door, and then blast away at full speed!

Simple, right?

…Right?

Interlude: The Fall Of The Zubrin - Part 4

TRANSMISSION CONTINUES:

January 1^st – 2016

My name is Maria Harrison, Captain of the Zubrin, and I’d like to wish you all a happy new year!

You can’t hear it, because this is a text journal, but I just blew one of those party noise making things, whatever they’re called. But I did. Yay!

Right, back to work.

February 1^st – 2016

Actually, what DO they call those noise making things.

__

…Noise Makers? Really? Well, at least you get what you expect.

Also: Nothing to report, ship continues on course, no delays expected.

March 3^rd – 2016

Nothing to report today.

EXCEPT THAT IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I’m very excited. 19 today! All grown up and everything. No longer the youngest person ever to go into space, but I was when we started! Take that, other youngest person!

I’d blow the noise maker again, except it floated behind a cupboard three weeks ago and I haven’t been able to dig it out again.

NASA caught some flak for sending a teenager into space, but argued due to the length of the trip they wanted someone who would still be fit and young when they got back.

They were originally going to send a monkey, but decided against it because some animal rights guy (Peter somebody) objected. Also, monkeys aren’t really able to keep logs. Plus I hear they throw poop at things.

Besides. I’m like, awesomely mature.

April 24^th – 2016

6 months in space. Been a long time since anyone has been in space this long, not counting the international space station. Anyway, that was shut down two years ago.

It’s an important day. Both for science, and for me. Difficult to know how best to commemorate it.

…I suppose I had better take the Christmas decorations down.

__

Here’s some advice. If you ever find yourself taking down Christmas decorations in deep space somewhere between the moon and Mars, (bear with me here), I recommend making sure you’ve tied the streamer down before you go to take down the next one.

Long story short the ship is now full of floating streamers.

It’s pretty, I’ll admit.

…No, I should take them down.

September 20^th – 2016

Been looking over the log. I probably should have written more. But there’s been not much to say.

Hello, there’s an asteroid outside the window. A big one too. Should tell NASA.

__

NASA just replied. They’re a little worried based on the ships reading that it may be large enough to pull me into its orbit. They’re going to do some calculations and get back to me.

__

Doo doo doo.

__

It’s been two hours. Asteroid is getting bigger. Hurry up and calculate, NASA! I really don’t want to moon an asteroid.

…That came out wrong.

__

Bad news from NASA. It turns out the asteroid is big enough to a) pull me into orbit, and b) Hit Earth and wipe out everyone I know.

...I’m not sure I’m wild about either of those options. 

Interlude: The Fall Of The Zubrin - Part 3

TRANSMISSION CONTINUES:

December 24^th – 2015

My name is Maria Harrison, Captain of the Zubrin, and I am so bored.

Two months in space today. Can you believe it? I’m sorry I haven’t written more, NASA, but there’s really been nothing to say. It’s just… space, you know? And there’s an awful lot of it out there.

Not in here, though. I thought this ship was pretty big, but after two months stuck in here it’s starting to feel pretty small. Who’d have thought I’d have run out of space… in space?

…hehehe.

I’ve been doing my stretches, promise, and keeping an eye on the instruments. Everything’s working perfectly. There was a minor scare when the fuel gauge suddenly dropped to empty, but it went back to half-full almost straight away, so must have just been a glitch of some kind.

Mind, we haven’t fired the rockets in about 6 weeks. NASA was explaining to me how in order to save on fuel they simply accelerate to full speed, cut the engines, and then I just coast all the way to Mars, until about two thirds of the way there, when they start to apply the brakes.

Which, since rockets don’t have… I don’t know, space wheels or something… means firing the rockets in the other direction.

So they burn a lot of fuel at the start of the trip, and the end of the trip, but none in the middle, apart from the occasional course correction. Which is all really fascinating!

However, I am stuck in this space ship for another 16 months, so I don’t think it’s quite enough fascinating to go round.

Also, it’s Christmas tomorrow. Do I get a present NASA? I guess not. It’d be pretty hard to get a present all the way out here.

I don’t have a chimney for one thing.

__

December 25^th – 2015

I wish me a Merry Christmas, I wish me a Merry Christmas…

Hmm, no.

So have myself, a merry little Christmas…

No.

Darn it. There really are no songs for Christmas on your own. How depressing. Guess I’d better get used to it, though on the… ooh, there’s a message from NASA.

__

“Cupboard 23?” What off Earth does that mean? Do we even have 23 cupboards?

__

Oh my goodness. Yes we do. It was hidden behind the spacesuit rack! Had to unbolt the rack to get to it, remind me to fix that later, wouldn’t want it falling on me or anything.

And inside, there’s Christmas decorations!!! I love you, NASA.

__

Place is looking really festive now. I have streamers billowing in zero grav. I’m wearing a Santa hat (or at least I would be if it didn’t keep floating off), and while I understand they couldn’t get me a real tree, they included a poster of a tree. And the nutritional paste… well, the nutritional paste is delicious.

What a lovely way to spend Christmas Day. Thank you NASA!

December 26^th – 2015

…Bored again.

Interlude: The Fall Of The Zubrin: Part 2

TRANSMISSION CONTINUES:

November 3rd^st – 2015

My name is Maria Harrison, Captain of the Zubrin, and this is my story.

Note to self – Find better intro. I sound like I’m about to try and sell you something.

Been in Space for more than a whole week now! I passed the moon a few days ago. We flew quite close. I could see all the craters and canyons really clearly. I was kind of hoping I’d see the original moon landing site, but either we didn’t fly near it, or there’s nothing left to see.

But I saw the moon! It was all big and grey, and… and pretty dull if I was going to be honest. But it’s still a monumental moment for science. Yay for Science!

__

Wow, space is boring. There’s nothing to do here. The Zubrin’s pretty spacious, so I can at least stretch my legs in zero gravity a little. NASA told me to do a whole heap of exercises to do to make sure my muscles don’t wear out without gravity.

I should probably actually do them one of these days.

Well, there’s no time like the present!

__

Ouch. The exercises went well, but I got all caught up in the moment and tried to do a push up. Pushed up so far I whacked my head on the ceiling. Ouch.

Now my head hurts. Do we have any painkillers on this ship?

__

Found some in the food cupboard. Why would they put it in the food cupboard? I’ll put them in the supply cupboard instead.

__

Wow, those work fast. I guess they must…

__

…Be pretty strong sedatives.

Wait a moment; did I fall asleep during that sentence? I think I did. Wow. Strong stuff.  On the bright side, headache gone!

On the down side, Tuesday gone…

Oh well, back to bed! Night, Universe.

November 4^th – 2015

Doing my exercises again. Didn’t hit my head this time (no push ups!) But whenever I lunge, sideways, I go into a spin. When I spin, I get dizzy. When I get dizzy, I throw up.

That really doesn’t strike me as a good idea up here. I’ll try strapping myself into the seat next time.

__

NASA have kindly pointed me to a file on the computer marked “Space Exercise Program”. No more vomiting or hitting my head! Can’t wait!

__

…I’ll do them later.

November 5^th – 2015

Ok I’m seriously starting to get bored. There’s a pretty good library on the ship, but I’m not a huge reader and I keep losing my place. Whenever I put the book down to go get a bookmark it floats away! Mind you, so does the bookmark.

Still, 9 days in space. And Mars is the next thing after the moon, isn’t it? So I must be nearly there.

Strange that I can’t see it though. How long does it take to get to Mars, NASA?

__

18 MONTHS?!!!

__

I’m going to need more books.