Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Interlude: The Fall Of The Zubrin - Part 4


TRANSMISSION CONTINUES:

January 1st – 2016

My name is Maria Harrison, Captain of the Zubrin, and I’d like to wish you all a happy new year!

You can’t hear it, because this is a text journal, but I just blew one of those party noise making things, whatever they’re called. But I did. Yay!

Right, back to work.

February 1st – 2016

Actually, what DO they call those noise making things.

__

…Noise Makers? Really? Well, at least you get what you expect.

Also: Nothing to report, ship continues on course, no delays expected.

March 3rd – 2016

Nothing to report today.

EXCEPT THAT IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I’m very excited. 19 today! All grown up and everything. No longer the youngest person ever to go into space, but I was when we started! Take that, other youngest person!

I’d blow the noise maker again, except it floated behind a cupboard three weeks ago and I haven’t been able to dig it out again.

NASA caught some flak for sending a teenager into space, but argued due to the length of the trip they wanted someone who would still be fit and young when they got back.

They were originally going to send a monkey, but decided against it because some animal rights guy (Peter somebody) objected. Also, monkeys aren’t really able to keep logs. Plus I hear they throw poop at things.

Besides. I’m like, awesomely mature.

April 24th – 2016

6 months in space. Been a long time since anyone has been in space this long, not counting the international space station. Anyway, that was shut down two years ago.

It’s an important day. Both for science, and for me. Difficult to know how best to commemorate it.

…I suppose I had better take the Christmas decorations down.

__

Here’s some advice. If you ever find yourself taking down Christmas decorations in deep space somewhere between the moon and Mars, (bear with me here), I recommend making sure you’ve tied the streamer down before you go to take down the next one.

Long story short the ship is now full of floating streamers.

It’s pretty, I’ll admit.

…No, I should take them down.

September 20th – 2016

Been looking over the log. I probably should have written more. But there’s been not much to say.

Hello, there’s an asteroid outside the window. A big one too. Should tell NASA.

__

NASA just replied. They’re a little worried based on the ships reading that it may be large enough to pull me into its orbit. They’re going to do some calculations and get back to me.

__

Doo doo doo.

__

It’s been two hours. Asteroid is getting bigger. Hurry up and calculate, NASA! I really don’t want to moon an asteroid.

…That came out wrong.

__

Bad news from NASA. It turns out the asteroid is big enough to a) pull me into orbit, and b) Hit Earth and wipe out everyone I know.

...I’m not sure I’m wild about either of those options. 

No comments:

Post a Comment