163rd Entry

April 3^rd, 2037

0308

Dear Space Diary

“How she doing?”

Well she appears to be breathing. That’s a good thing, right?

“Yes, breathing is a good thing.”

How long have I got before I pass out?

“Hard to say. 3.0 had hours, but I can’t say how long you’ve got.”

…Hard. To say.

“There’s a lot of factors. Weight, lung capacity, heart strength. I’m smart but I’m not that smart.

I thought you were. You always seem to know everything.

“That’s sweet, but no. So tell you what, stop wasting your oxygen flirting with me and go save 3.0.”

I wasn’t flirting.

“Just shut up and go.”

Going.

“I’ve boosted the oxygen flow to 3.0’s tube. Given you’ve blocked the other end, this should hopefully make it much easier to see.”

0314

Ok, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news.

“I hate that combination. What is it?”

Good news is I can see the leak. Also 3.0 had plenty of duct tape left, so I can use that to plug the leak good enough to get her back inside.

“Fantastic! Oh I’m so pleased. Wait. You said there was bad news. Is there bad news? What’s the bad news?”

Well, I can’t reach it.

“What do you mean?”

I’m currently cabled up to 3.0. Which is a short cable. And the oxygen tube is a very long cable. So we’re here. And the leak is waaaaaaay over there. So I’m stuck.

“No you’re not.”

Eh?

“It’s simple a matter of thinking it out. You are tethered to the door of the ship by the oxygen tube.”

So?

“Sigh. So, you infuriatingly stupid person, simply pull your way along the tube. It’s zero gravity. 3.0 will come with you.”

…That actually does seem kind of obvious now you mention it.

“Depressingly so.”

But hang on, I don’t want to put too much strain on 3.0’s tube. It could tear it further. Then we’d be completely screwed.

“You have an oxygen tube too, you know.”

…You don’t have to make me sound stupid.

“You’re right. I don’t.”

0315

“How goes the abseiling?”

I’m going up, not down. Well, technically sideways. So it’d be rock climbing, not abseiling.

“Oh of course, sorry.”

Who’s stupid NOW, huh?

“Still you. That person who’s life you’re trying to save. How’s that working out?”

We’re getting there. The leak is close. It looks a lot bigger from here.

“I’m pumping the oxygen through pretty hard. Thought you might have trouble seeing it.”

We’re not going to run out or anything are we?

“We’ve got a passenger list of about 100-200 less than they were expecting. And the ship has oxygen recyclers. So that’s a double no.”

Does that means that’s a yes?

“Me and you are going to have to disagree on the grammar.”

You and I.

“I could turn off your oxygen right now.”

But you won’t.

“Why not?”

Who else would help you with your grammar?

“That’s it, you’re dying. Nice knowing you.”