200th Entry

May 31^st, 2037

0320

Death Earth Diary

I can’t sleep.

Not surprising given the circumstances. It’s a bit of a thing to discover that the love of your life’s reaction to discovering you’re still alive would be “well, this is awkward.”

Mary’s taken this a lot better than I did.

I would have spent the entire afternoon drinking except that I am a man of dignity and there’s no alcohol in here and the guards refused to bring me any. I tried explaining that my heart had been broken. They were surprisingly unsympathetic. I’ll have to write a letter to their supervisor about the acceptable treatment of heartbroken prisoners.

Maybe not. Then other parts of me might get broken.

I thought at first maybe NASA wrote it in an attempt to break my morale. And they did write a part of it. On the back was scrawled:

P.S. You should totally plead guilty to those charges NASA have got you on. Signed Mary.

I’m disinclined to believe the authenticity of the above, because:

a)     Mary thinks I’m dead.

b)    Mary doesn’t know I’ve been charged.

c)     It was written in a different style, font, and pen colour.

d)    Mary think I’m dead.

I wondered for an hour or so if maybe I should be dead. It would certainly make things easier for everyone.

Then I realised that it wouldn’t make it easier for Mary (not fiancé Mary. Mars Mary). Or 3.0. Or, really, me. There’s a whole heap of things I couldn’t get done if I was dead. So the only people it really would make things easier for is NASA. And they’re the last people I want to assist right now.

Plus they wouldn’t bring me any rope.

So when the thing you were living for is no longer an option, what do you live for?

Life, I guess.

Also, my friends, who I totally have to rescue somehow.

Plus me. I have to rescue me.

First things first.

0900

Not guilty.

“Are you sure?”

Yes.

“You’re not feeling all demotivated, like you’d read something soul destroying?”

No I’m alright. I appreciate you asking.

“…Very well.”

CLICK

“Hey you!”

What?

“I heard what you said.”

And?

“They’re not going to be happy with you.”

And?

“Right on!”

Pardon?

“I said back in line, prisoner!”

Thank you.

“No worries. You’ve got a letter.”

Who from?

“Mary.”

You already gave me that yesterday.

“How many Marys do you know?”

…More than you could possibly imagine.

0910

The guards tell me you’re well. They’ve been passing me updates in exchange for anecdotes.

You’re a hero around here to the ground staff. Don’t let it go to your head.

We have to get 3.0 out of here. She’s not well. I think they’re trying to make more. There’s only so many samples they can take.

This message will self-destruct once you’ve finished reading it. By which I mean please destroy this once you’ve finished reading it.

-Mary.

P.S. Have you tried astronomy lately?