215th Entry

June 4^th, 2037

2015

Dear Earth Diary

“What’s in the bag?”

Nothing!

“I don’t believe you.”

Well it’s possible that I had to carry some things, so I put them in a bag.

“What sort of things?”

I don’t know. General things. Such as… you know, a brain in a jar…

“Oh come on! How many times do we need to talk about this?”

I’ll carry her. She won’t get in the way.

“But why?”

I just thought we could give her a proper funeral when all this is over. Look if we get in trouble or if it becomes a problem, I’ll drop the bag, I promise.

“…Oh I guess so. I’m sorry I’m not trying to heartless.”

No, no it’s ok. You’re focussed on the mission. That’s valid.

“One thing. Was that bag in the room when we were dowsing everything in rocket fuel?”

Yes.

“So it’s now also doused in rocket fuel?”

…Yes.

“…Just be careful, ok? I’d prefer it if you didn’t burn to death.”

You say the sweetest things.

“NASA on the other hand can burn for all I care.”

…The sweetest things.

2111

Are you sure the test launch was this way?

“We passed that ages ago. That was all the fuel there was. We’ll need to find something else.”

Ugh. Why are secret labs always so large and confusing?

“Have you spent a lot of time in secret labs? I thought you worked here anyway.”

Not in this place. I worked over in the engineering and maintenance area. I’ve no idea what this place is.

“This is facility B. Not on the blueprints. It’s right under the launch pad.”

…How did you know that?

“I’ve been wandering about for a while. Learned a thing or two.”

Weren’t you worried you’d be caught?

“The only ones that seem to be down here are the guards. And they’re on our side since they like your talk show.”

Please don’t put it like that.

“They hear it like a show. And you talk. Talk show.”

That sounds so weird.

“You became a hero for talking to yourself and accidentally tripping over various parts of an illegal cloning operation. How weird do you want to get, because it’s already pretty weird.”

…So have you found out why they’re creating a clone army of you?

“I honestly have no idea. They couldn’t clone me on earth, so they wanted to send me to Mars. That didn’t work out so great, and twenty years later, here we are.”

Then why are they cloning 3.0? Shouldn’t that still be a problem?

“Well, 3.0 wasn’t born here per se. Or you know, at all. I’m guessing that’s a loophole. Legally speaking.”

Legally speaking?

“Not alive people don’t have rights.”

But she is… was alive.

“I dunno. Lawyers.”

Lawyers?

“Lawyers.”

So we destroy the lab, take away their clone sample, and then expose the whole thing?

“And get the clones out of here until then so they can’t just start again.”

Simple.