1300
Dear Space Diary
Urgh.
Learned a very important lesson today. Don’t eat a full
hearty breakfast moments before the ship you’re in is about to jump to
lightspeed.
Also, don’t eat four.
In happierish news, the cleaning robots on this ship are amazing. I’m fairly sure one of them
gave me a dirty look though.
Given I’ve been up for most of the night and some of the
day, I might get a nap in. Better check with the others as well.
Hey Mary, is it ok if I sleep for a bit?
…Mary is asleep. I’ll take that as a yes.
1305
Hey 3.0, are you awake?
“No.”
I’ll take that as a yes.
“Fine. I was though, until you walked in.”
Sorry, I was just going to ask if it was ok if I had a nap.
“So you woke me up to tell me you were going to sleep?”
I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were –
“YOUR GOD NEEDS SLEEP.”
Saving me does not make you a deity.
“Oh yes, what do deities do? They save people.”
And apes have four fingers and a thumb. Are you an ape?
“…Go to sleep.”
I plan to.
1313
Ok, time for a rest.
Probably won’t be able to get to sleep, though. Never seem
to be able to whenever I –
April 4th 2037
0511
…Cool!
0630
“Morning!”
Morning Mary.
“I’m making breakfast, do you want any?”
Er, no, thanks.
“Come on, you must be starving.”
I’m giving up breakfast.
“For lent?”
For… no! I ate too much yesterday and was sick.
“In space, no one can hear you -“
Oh believe me, they can.
“Mm.”
Yes.
“So… this is very peaceful.”
It is a bit.
“Troubles are solved. The Marys are saved.”
The engines are fixed; NASA’s benefactors won’t get their
clone army.
“Nothing left to do but for us to sit here for 5 weeks and…
be peaceful.”
Yup.
“So very peaceful.”
…By peaceful, do you mean boring?
“God, yes.”
“You called?”
You have hearing like a bat, 3.0. Like a bat.
“I’m hungry.”
You have vat juice.
“That is not an acceptable answer to any question ever.”
Sigh… 5 weeks of bickering.
“It doesn’t have to be.”
Trust me, if we were able to stop by now, we would have.
“Doesn’t have to be 5 weeks. Could be 5 minutes.”
…Do you have a time machine?
“Maybe. Well, sort of. I’ve been reading the ship’s
instruction manual.”
Why?
“I was feeling a bit peaceful. Anyway, on deck 3 we…
drumroll please?”
No.
“…have suspended animation pods.”
Suspension what?
“Did you never read sci-fi?”
Not for things that are real, no.
“Ugh. Fine. Basically they freeze you –but not actually –
and keep you unconscious until they wake you. So it happens in an instant for
you.”
Sounds kind of creepy.
Not at all, it’s fine. it’s just like being held in a coma
against your will.
Oh, well when you put it like that…
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