175th Entry

April 4^th, 2037

0840

Dear Space Diary

INITIALISING SUSPENDED ANIMATION IN:

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

DING

YOUR SUSPENDED ANIMATION, OR YOUR MICROWAVE, ARE NOW COMPLETE.

THANK YOU FOR USING NASA MULTI-PURPOSE COUNTDOWNS.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR SOME OF THE OTHER GREAT PRODUCTS WE CAN COUNT DOWN FOR YOU, PLEASE EMAIL US AT THEFINALCOUNTDOWN@NASAINC.COM

0845

I’m alone.

I seem to say that a lot.

Guess it’s because I’m alone a lot.

The Marys Two seem to be sleeping soundly and safely. I’ll have to pop in and check occasionally to make sure it hasn’t suspended them too much, or whatever it is that can and probably will go wrong.

Though given I don’t know what the problem might be, I almost certainly won’t know what the solution will be either.

Hmm. Think this might be one of those don’t think about it and have a sandwich things.

0848

Out of bread. Damn.

0852

Turns out the kitchen is voice activated, so the most effective way of getting yourself some more bread is to say “Damn it, we’re out of bread,” and a new loaf arrives in a matter of minutes, freshly baked, warm, and tasty, the way only a baker or whatever hellish-magic the food supply on this ship uses can provide.

I don’t especially care; it’s tasty and it makes a good sandwich.

Come to think of it, I don’t know where they got the ham or cheese from either.

...Starting to care a little bit. Unless we have a pig and a cow on board somewhere (and that would raise its own problems), then it’s a bit strange.

WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING ME, NASA?

0855

Alone for 12 minutes and I’m already going crazy. That’s a new record I think.

0920

Right. Eaten a questionable sandwich. What do I do now?

Can’t play solitaire. Blast.

It’s ok. There’s more to life than solitaire. Plenty of other things you can do. You could read a book, or build a house of cards.

0925

…Nah.

0935

Firing up the computer. Might be worth seeing if 2.0 has sent any updates. Would be good to know if they’re all ok after the whole nearly dying thing.

<INCOMING TRANSMISSION>

Speak of the devil.

Sorry 2.0.

<YOU HAVE 2 NEW MESSAGES>

<LOADING MESSAGE 1>

HEY GUYS JUST CHECKING IN. WE’RE STILL ALL NOT DEAD. THE OTHER CLONES SAY HI.

WE’RE ATTEMPTING TO CREATE A NEW CIVILIZATION. IT’S SURPRISINGLY HARD WORK. THE GIRLS WANTED ME TO GIVE ME ABSOLUTE POWER, BUT I INSISTED IT BE DECIDED BY DEMOCRATIC VOTE.

SO THEY UNANIMOUSLY VOTED TO GIVE ME ABSOLUTE POWER.

I’M NOT SURE ELECTIONS WORK WHEN EVERYONE IS AN IDENTICAL CLONE OF EACH OTHER.

I’LL LET YOU KNOW HOW WE GO. STAY SAFE.

__

Democracy at work, I guess. What else you got, 2.0?

<LOADING MESSAGE 2>

GOOD YOU’RE ALONE. WE CAN TALK.

IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME. WE GOT YOUR LAST MESSAGE.

INCIDENTALLY, THE FOOD IS BASICALLY NUTRITIONAL PASTE WITH FLAVOUR ADDED.