Eighty-Eighth Entry

March 16^th, 2037

1615

Dear Space Diary.

Just as we were about to start up the hill, Mary decided she wanted a break after all. She wanted to stretch her legs for a bit, (well, as much as you can stretch them in a spacesuit, which is admittedly more than you can stretch them in a spaceship) so she took the suit and vanished over a hill to the… East? The direction the sun rises in. I’m calling that East.

Hmm. Which means the city is a little off North, and the curious incident of the lightdog digging in the sand is off to the south west.

Excellent! Well now that I know my bearings, I can… keep doing what I was already doing.

1620

Sigh. Bored.  Mary has the suit, so I’m stuck in the ship until she gets back.

Plus, we forgot to roll the ship back before she took off, so it’s not the right way up. I’m lying on my back, head tilted downwards, with the computer monitor hanging above my head. Have to clench my back muscles just to stop me sliding off the chair. Reminds me of when I was stuck down that hole.

Because that’s just a fond memory.

Actually, I really should take advantage of Mary’s absence to read a little of this mission log. 400 pages long so I won’t really make much of a dent, but I should at least be able to finish the table of contents to the table of contents before she returns.

1618

Ok, firing it up.

Oh, interesting, it’s an audio guide. I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, given the length.

BING

Welcome to the NASA 2017 Mission Parameter handbook. NASA, and its research departments are proud of the work we do. Like Ted here. He just loves working for NASA. Wave hi, Ted.

Given this is an audio recording, I can only assume that Ted is waving. Good for you, Ted.

That’s great Ted. Go to my office. Now, NASA considers itself at the forefront of modern, scientific, and cutting edge Mission Parameter Handbook design. I think we’ve taken Mission Parameter Handbooks well into the 22^nd, or even 23^rd, century. I’m sure you’ll agree.

-RECORDING PAUSED-

Thought I saw a spacesuit over there. Mary back already?

…No, it’s gone. Maybe she was checking on me, making sure I hadn’t manifested superhuman strength and lead immunity and had rolled the ship off without her.

 Isn’t that sweet.

-RECORDING RESUMED-

Chapter 1: Understanding this handbook. This forms pages 1-297 of this 400 page handbook. It will take approximately 72.354 hours. Please have a pencil and paper handy, as a test will follow immediately after.

-RECORDING PAUSED-

I don’t have three days to listen to an instruction manual for an instruction manual! All I want is to find parameter 234:10. Trouble is, I don’t know where bloody NASA have hidden it.

CODE 234:10 VERIFIED. UNLOCKING CLASSIFIED PARAMETERS

…Well that was easy.