141st Entry

March 25th, 2037

1630

Dear Space Diary

Hey, 3.0, are you in here?

“Yeah sure, come in.”

How are you going?

“The Eiffel Tower was built in 1889.”

That’s just super. Listen, I just came in to tell you that the engines have started up again.

“Good to know, thanks.”

Also, why are all the books on the floor?

“Turns out the engines started up again.”

I lost a house.

“That’s fairly careless. Did you check behind the fridge?”

A house of cards. When the engines started.

“Hang on, hang on. C… c… cards… card houses. Like this?”

Yeah. Only bigger.

“Cool! Sucks to lose it. Can you show me how to do that one day?”

Yeah sure.

“Are we going to be friends? You know, on Earth?”

I’d like that.

“Would she like that?”

My fiancé? I doubt she’ll have a problem. We’re just friends after all.

“I dunno. Divorce was a pretty big section in D. Some of the reasons seemed pretty silly.”

Probably didn’t seem silly to the people involved though. And that’s probably what mattered.

“Yeah. I guess. Hey, can I ask a question?”

Sure.

“Are humans stupid?”

Er, sometimes?

“I’m just reading through all these things, and… some of them seem to be pretty stupid. Like, really stupid.”

Some of them are I’m sure. But there are many who aren’t.

“How do you know that?”

Well, the Earth hasn’t been blown up yet.

“You have been away.”

Still. Trust me. Am I stupid?

“Well…”

Safer question. Is Mary stupid?

“Oh no. She’s not stupid.”

See? That’s one. And you’ll meet more.

“…Ok then.”

All ok?

“The first ejector seat appeared may have appeared as early as 1910.”

Good stuff.

1710

Well, I’ve been putting this off for long enough. Guess I should just get it over with.

Sigh.

1712

Ok here goes.

Dear. NASA.

So, um. It’s been a while.

How you been?

Anyway, it’s about half an hour before I’ll get a response to this, so I reckon I’m free to just talk while you listen. If you agree, wait thirty minutes before responding.

Good NASA.

So, I’m coming home. Mary’s coming home. As is another Mary.

I don’t know whether the clones were your idea. Or if somebody just paid you to build ships and look the other way. Either way I’m actually pretty sorry I messed with your plans. It certainly wasn’t my intention. Maybe if you’d told me the truth from the start, I’d have been inclined to help.

Probably not, though.

What I do know, is that those clones deserved to have a say in the matter. Mary deserved to have a say. I deserved to, too.

So I gave them a choice.

I’m happy to report the cloning process worked. If you want any reports or evidence, I’ll happily provide them.

In return, all I ask is to be left alone.

Thank you.

1715

Oh, and P.S.

Come after either Mary or 3.0, and I’ll rip your teeth out.