147th Entry

April 1^st, 2037

 

1134

Dear Space Diary

Mary’s been looking for the results from the system diagnostics for about an hour now. I went in about twenty minutes ago to ask (politely) if she could hurry it up a little.

Fortunately I found an ice pack in the freezer and the swelling is going down nicely.

“I was expecting you to duck.”

That only happens in the movies.

“Ducking?”

Comedic timing. Anyway, I assume that you’re out here because you’ve finished going over the diagnostics.

“I have. And I have some good news. It’s a simple case of a loose wire. That’s it, everything else is in perfect working order. We reconnect the wire, add a little sealant so it doesn’t come loose again, and we’re back in business.”

That’s fantastic! Oh, well done Mary. I could kiss you.

“You could. But you won’t, right?”

Yes, Mary.

“Good. Ok, well, whenever you feel up to it, we’ll replace the wire and –“

Feel up to it? It’s a wire. Let’s replace it and be done with it. We’re going home, Mary. We’re going home!

“Ok, ok. I thought, no that’s fine. Let’s fix it now.”

Where is the wire?

“Right near the engine.”

Cool. So I’ll need to open a wall panel near the escape pods?

“No.”

Oh. So I’ll need to go through the crawlspace? That’s a pain.

“Er, not the crawlsplace either.”

Hang on, I’m confused. The only way to get to the wire’s near the engine is through a panel, the crawlspace, or…

…No.

“Yes.”

It’s OUTSIDE the ship?

“Outside the engines, to be precise. You’ll just need to climb down to it and reconnect the wire.”

In zero-gravity. On the side of a spaceship rocketing through space. I’ll just need to do that.

“Correct.”

Hang on, I’LL just need to do that? Why can’t you do it?

“I’ll need to work the computer.”

Isn’t that just a convenient excuse?

“I don’t know. Can you reconfigure the calculations for light speed space travel within a crucial two minute period?”

No.

“Then let’s assume it’s not.”

But I’m not an electrician.

“Neither is anyone else. But I can talk you through it from inside.”

Can’t you talk 3.0 through it from the inside?

“You’re seriously suggesting that you’d rather send a teenager out to do dangerous maintenance work while you hide inside under a blanket?”

I didn’t know we had blankets.

“You have to do this. Only you can. 3.0 has only been alive for a year or two. She’d be terrified. It’s you. Man up, then suit up.”

…You’re right. Ok. I’m sorry. Let’s do this.

1200

“I’m done! I’ve finished the encyclopedia! My favourite letter was T. I know everything that has ever been… what are you doing?”

Shouldn’t you know?

“I may have skipped over a few entries. So what’s up.”

I’m being forced into the cold dead reaches of space to repair the engine.

“Cool, can I come?”

“Sure, I’ll grab another spacesuit.”

…Right.