April 1st, 2037
1500
Dear Space Diary
“You sure you’re up for this?”
I don’t see an alternative.
“It won’t be easy.”
I know.
“In fact, it’ll be very hard.”
Let’s just get it over with.
“If you’re sure?”
I am.
“Ok then.”
DING
“Class is now in session. Please take
your seats. Yes, all of you.”
There’s only me. And I’m already
sitting.
“Well done class. Gold stars all
round.”
…who are you talking to?
“Sorry. I always wanted to teach.”
It shows.
“Don’t answer back. Is that clear?”
…er?
“Very good. Welcome to Basic Spaceship
Wiring 101: Learn to rewire an engine in 6 easy steps.”
Six doesn’t sound so bad.
“Oh I’m sorry, I left a few numbers
off.”
…36?
“Blast, sorry! I’m just nervous.
Forgot the one.”
136?
“Guess again.”
2007
“And then the brown wire will go into
slot 47… here. This will reconnect the engine to the third fuel injector, which
as we no doubt recall, is used when…?”
I don’t know.
“Come on, have a guess?”
…during fuel injection?
“That’s right! Well done. You may
leave two minutes early.”
When does class finish?
“In more than two minutes. Now, any
questions so far?”
Where do you find a blackboard?
“Cupboard 41. Any other questions?”
No.
“Splendid. Let’s take a break then.
Recess!”
DING
Listen, I’m not sure I’m getting this.
“I’m sorry, I don’t fraternise with my
students.”
Mary!
“Sorry, sorry, nervous. Am I doing ok?”
Fine. But I’m having trouble
remembering all this.
“I knew it! I’m a terrible teacher, I’ve
failed!”
No! You’re fine. It’s just… a really
difficult subject. You’re doing well. You’re a good teacher.
“Really?”
Yes.
“…Really?”
Yes!
“Ok good. I knew I was.”
Good. I’m glad.
“Really?”
YES! MARY! YES!
“Geez, sorry.”
I’m not going to get this.
“We’ve only just started!”
We’ve been going for five hours.
“I did say it would take a long time.
I learn pretty fast.”
But I don’t.
“You just have to stick this out. It’ll
happen. It’ll take a long time, and it’ll be hard. But we’ll get you there.”
“Or I could just do it.”
3.0? Where are you?
“I’m tired. Can I come inside please?”
You’re still outside?
“Yeah. You guys kind of left me here.
I wanna go back inside.”
“3.0! I’m so sorry!”
“Oh don’t be. It’s awesome out here.
But the suit’s starting to smell. Might need to empty the –“
Stop talking now.
“I mean what I said. I could do the
wiring.”
“You don’t know anything about wiring.”
“I think you mean I know everything about wiring. What do you
think I’ve been doing for the past few days?”
Reading encyclopaedias.
“And other associated texts. Including
wiring. I can do it.”
“Well, I’m a pretty fast learner. So
she probably is too.”
“Course I can. Honestly. I did say.
Let me come back inside and take a look. Oh, and Mary?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re an amazing teacher. He’s just
a terrible student.”
“Thanks!”
…Thanks.
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