122nd Entry

March 21st, 2037

1850

Dear Space Diary 

SO, CLONES! ARE YOU READY TO GO TO EARTH?

<PAUSE FOR RAPTUROUS CHEERS>

…

I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

<PAUSE FOR EVEN LOUDER RAPTUROUS CHEERS>

Can it actually hear us?

“No, I’m pretty sure he’s just stupid.”

THAT’S GREAT. WELL, ONCE YOU’RE ALL ABOARD, THIS SHIP WILL BE ON ITS WAY TO EARTH, AND YOUR NEW TESTING CHAM… HOME! THAT’S RIGHT, YOUR NEW HOME, AND NOT A TESTING CHAMBER OF ANY KIND. THERE WILL BE HARDLY ANY NEEDLES.

DID I SAY HARDLY ANY NEEDLES? I MEANT NO NEEDLES.

REALLY, THEY WON’T HURT MUCH.

OR AT ALL.

LOOK, JUST GET ON THE DAMN SHIP.

<SERIOUSLY. GET ON.>

FZZT

…

GROOOOOWWWWLLL

I agree, Bobo.

“…You named him Bobo?”

No, NASA did. He was in the papers shortly after I left. NASA’s brave new step forward in rocket testing, bringing back the dog test pilots.

“So what you’re saying is a dog is considered a better test pilot than you are.”

No, what I’m saying is shut up.

1855

I think I’ve seen all of the ship now. Seems to be fully stocked and fuelled.

“We are out of apples though.”

Were we out of apples before you were aboard?

“Side issue.”

The controls are a little different but at least they’re there. I was worried it was on autopilot.

“Let me see. Nope, I can definitely fly this.”

You sure?

“Definitely. It’s basically the Q14 controls but set in reverse based on the 2013 revisions. The throttle is new but I can probably work that out pretty quickly. Simple really.”

…Yeah. Simple. I knew all that, I was just testing you.

“And you failed.”

Quite.

1905

Ok, so we have a state of the art ship, with an FTL drive, and would allow us to fly back to Earth in comfort and style. Question is, do we use it?

“Why wouldn’t we?”

Well, it’s NASAs. And I’m a little concerned of just jumping straight in to something they’ve offered. Seems suspicious.

“Look I agree, but it’ll be a much easier trip in a ship like this. We have to at least consider it.”

Fine. Maybe so. But here’s the next question then. Do we take the clones?

“…Ah.”

We never could before. Do we take them? Or do we leave them in the city? We have to decide.

“Yeah. Or we could, you know, ask them?”

Them?

“They are people, you know. With thoughts and ideas and stuff. Surely they get a say, now that there’s an option?”

You’re right. Of course. I’m sorry.

“Good, so –“

WOOF!

Yes, dog. What is it?

“Don’t call him that.”

What? He is a dog.

“And you’re a twit, but I don’t call you that.”

Fine.  Bobo. What. Is. It?

WOOF!

Enlightening.

“He’s got a piece of paper, dummy. What’s it say?”

Hmm.

‘Hello, I am BOBO the wonder dog.’

‘I am trained to obey my master.’

‘My master is on Earth.’

‘So I will ignore everything you say.’