128th Entry

March 22^nd, 2037

1805

Dear Space Diary

CLICK

Could all Marys please come to the main living area.

1823

Thank you all for coming. Eventually.

“Sorry. There was something good on the tv.”

What was it?

“Bobo. He was doing tricks until he fell off.”

Most amusing.

“We told him to stop, but he just kept doing them.”

He’s funny like that. Right. So. I’ve got some good news for you all.

“We’re not in space?”

No, we are still in space.

“Cause that sounds like bad news.”

The good news is we’ve found you a way back to Maysrvilletopia. There are escape pods below deck, and if we launch them soon, we should be able to get you back safely.

“Then what are we waiting for! To the pods!”

Single file people, single file!

“No time! To the escape pods!”

The ladder is only wide enough for one person.

“…single file, people, single file!”

1843

“I’m not so sure about this.”

What’s the problem?

“Well, NASA made these pods, right?”

Presumably.

“The same people that hard coded the autopilot to go to Earth.”

Yes that’s them.

“In other words, they may not want us going anywhere else.”

Yes.

“So why have they given us escape pods?”

…Ah.

“How do we know it’s safe? You can’t make us go in there! I demand you make sure they’re safe first!”

Ok, ok, so you want me to launch one of the pods and test if it’s safe?

“Yeah! We refuse to get in the pod until they’re tested!”

Ok, who wants to volunteer to test them?

1848

Anyone?

“But what if it isn’t safe?”

Then we’ll know it isn’t safe.

“But what happens to the person who tests it?”

They’ll know it isn’t safe too.

“Oh.”

Somebody is going to have to volunteer if you want it tested.

“I think you should test it.”

But I’m going to Earth. I don’t want to go back to Splat.

“Marysvilletopia.”

That too. Somebody who’s going to the planet formally known as Splat needs to test it.

“Ah.”

So you won’t get into the pods without testing them first?

“No.”

And nobody here is willing to test them?

“…”

Well, it appears than that you’re coming to Earth.

“…yeah.”

I’m sorry. The offer is there, but we’ll be out of range in a day or so. You need to decide. Otherwise –

WOOF!

Exactly, Bobo, exactly.

WOOF!

Yes, you’ve said that.

GRRRR.

What do you want?

ARF!

“He’s getting in the pod!”

Bobo!

“He’s pressing the launch button! He’s going to launch the pod!”

“That’s one well trained dog.”

Don’t worry, I’ll stop him. Bobo –

“BOBO! Get out of the escape pod!”

…oh dear.

TSSSSSHHHHHHH

BOOM

“…Bobo’s gone.”

…quick! To the cockpit!

1853

Can we stop it Mary?

“There’s no link between the pods. Once it’s launched, it’s gone.”

What’s going to happen to him?

“Well, the default is he’ll home in on the nearest habitable planet, so… wait, it’s turning.”

Where’s it’s headed?

“…Earth.”