Dear Space Diary: Sixty-Second Entry

March 13^th, 2037

0910

Dear Space Diary.

…What?

You’re right, NASA. I don’t understand. How could I understand? What do you mean that isn’t Mary? Who else could it be?

0940

WE DO NOT KNOW. ALL WE CAN SAY IS THAT SKELETON CANNOT BELONG TO MARY. UNLESS SHE HAS MAGIC POWERS.

0942

Magic Powers?

1010

YES. MAGIC POWERS.

I BELIEVE WE’VE SPOKEN TO YOU ABOUT YOUR USE OF SINGLE SENTENCE QUESTIONS IN OUR CONVERSATION. IT TAKES HALF AN HOUR TO GET A RESPONSE BACK TO YOU. IF THE ENTIRE CONVERSATION IS A SERIES OF YES/NO ANSWERS, THIS WILL – QUITE LITERALLY – TAKE ALL DAY.

PLEASE SEE ATTACHED X-RAY. THIS WAS TAKEN BY NASA DURING ROUTINE MEDICAL CHECK-UPS FOR MARY SHORTLY BEFORE HER DEPARTURE.

YOU WILL NOTICE SOMETHING STRANGE.

1015

Hmm. Well, it’s a skeleton alright. And it looks pretty much identical to the one lying in the corner over there. Not sure what NASA expected me to find.

I should ask… oh hang on, another message.

WE TOOK THE LIBERTY OF ASSUMING YOU MANAGED TO OVERLOOK THE GLARINGLY OBVIOUS DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE X-RAY AND MARY’S SKELETON AND SENT THIS MESSAGE ANYWAY BEFORE YOU HAD A CHANCE TO ASK.

THE SKELETONS ARE, FOR THE MOST PART, ENTIRELY IDENTICAL. BONE SIZE AND STRUCTURE IS A NEAR PERFECT MATCH TO OUR RECORDS FROM HER ORIGINAL TESTS.

(That’s what I said! They’re perfectly identical!)

HOWEVER, THIS IS ACTUALLY THE PROBLEM. THE SKELETON YOU HAVE THERE IS FROM A HEALTHY 17 YEAR OLD GIRL.

YET, IT TOOK AROUND 20 YEARS FOR MARY TO REACH THE PLANET SPLAT. AND WE KNOW SHE WAS ALIVE AT LEAST FIVE YEARS AFTER SHE LEFT. YOUR EVIDENCE WITH THE ROOM NAMES, WHILE NOT CONCLUSIVE, DOES SUGGEST SHE WAS ALIVE UNTIL WELL AFTER THE CRASH.

SO THAT SKELETON SHOULD BE APPROXIMATELY 40 YEARS OLD. BUT OUR ANALYSIS SHOWS IT COULDN’T BE MORE THAN 20.

1025

…Well, I don’t know, NASA. I know you’ve got your records, but it doesn’t sound very conclusive to me. Your analysis is being done on a photo of a skeleton, taken by me, and then electronically transmitted light years across the galaxy to you, where you check it against a 20 year old photo. There’s bound to be some loss of accuracy. Are you sure about this?

1050

FINE. WE’LL ACCEPT THAT’S A POSSIBILITY.

THEN CONSIDER ANOTHER FACT. THE 20 YEAR OLD X-RAY HAS SEVERAL METAL PINS INSERTED IN A FRACTURE IN THE LEFT LEG, AND A METAL PLATE IN HER SKULL FROM AN ACCIDENT WITH A SHOPPING TROLLEY, A HILL, AND GRAVITY. YOUR SKELETON HAS A PERFECTLY FORMED LEFT LEG AND HEAD, WITH NO FRACTURE, PLATE, PINS, OR ANY EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST THEM.

WE WIN.

1055

…You didn’t want to mention that before the rather tenuous age difference?

1130

THIS WAY WAS MORE FUN.

Dear Space Diary

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Sixty-Second Entry

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