106th Entry

March 21^st, 2037

0859

Dear Space Diary.

After much arguing, Mary relented and allowed me to get 5 hours sleep or so. But she said I had to be up on the dot at 9. Woke up a tiny bit early, so just relaxing a little before –

0900

“WAKE UP!”

…sigh.

1000

We’re hard at work on the Formula again. I don’t understand a lot of it to be honest. Basically I just go where she asks me to go, stir what she asks me to stir, run away from what looks like it’s about to explode, regardless of what she asks me to run away from. So basically I’m an honorary lightdog.

That kind of feels like a demotion.

“Back to work, slave.”

The fact that she’s enjoying this doesn’t make me feel any better.

1123

Ok Mary, I’ve added batch 14 to batch 3 like you asked.

“What did it do?”

It turned green and started smoking.

“Toxic or non-toxic?”

I’m not inhaling that.

“It’s ok. You’d be dead by now if it was.”

…What?

1148

“Dead yet?”

Please stop asking that.

“Just checking. Ok, next is batch 23. This is going to take about half an hour. You’ll need six pairs of protective goggles.”

Why six?

“Takes about five minutes to eat through them.”

I think it might be better if I stopped asking questions I don’t want to know the answer to.

“Works for me.”

1554

Ok, batches 26-29 have been mixed, I’ve poured the 1-19 concentrate into the tank, and I think I’ve pulled a muscle in my back. What’s next?

“Oh we’re done.”

…What?

“Yeah we were done hours ago. Have you been working all this time?”

…WHAT?

“Oh don’t worry I’m just kidding. We’re almost there. Thank you so much for your help, you’ve been brilliant.”

Oh. Well, you’re welcome. It was a pleasure to… oh, hugs, ok.

“Thank you.”

No trouble.

1558

Hug’s getting a little awkward now.

“Sorry. Ok, I’ve got one more batch to mix up; meanwhile, you can tip all the batches into tank in numerical order. Then I’ll add the last batch, give it a bit of a stir, and we’re done!”

Ok, let’s get it done!

1623

How’s the batch coming along?

“Just about there. Here, taste this.”

…No.

“Good answer. Now we just need to mix it together…”

1626

“…and we’re done!”

Awesome! We have fuel?

“It’ll need to stew for a bit. But yes, we have fuel. Clean, efficient, slow burning, and concentrated. There’s enough fuel in that tank to fill a fleet of ships.”

Ok. But you know we’ve only got two, right?

“You’re funny. Hmm.”

Lost something?

“Yeah, the word ‘not.’ I could have sworn I used it in a sentence a moment ago.”

Ha.

“Come on, that was good, as comebacks go. Anyway, better start carrying.”

Me? I have to carry it.

“Yeah. I mixed it, you carry it.”

I’m not impressed.

“There it is! I knew it was around here someplace.”