First Entry

January 14^th, 2037.

0400

Dear Space Diary.

Today I have earned my place in history. Today I have transcended the boundaries of mere mortals and stepped into Godhood. Today, if you will, I have become a “Man.”

At least, that’s what they tell me.

NASA have asked me to keep a record of my experiences during this journey, to accurately record the experiences of the first human being to ever travel to the edges of our Solar System and back. They’re trying out a new experimental faster than light system meaning that instead of months or years to get there, it should only take a few weeks.

I’m not an astronaut, you understand. I just work here. Or there. Or I did. I dunno. No, they couldn’t send anyone important on this one. See, much like when Stevenson was working on his own rocket, they’re not entirely convinced that using faster than light drives won’t make you just a little bit crazy. They’re worried the human brain might not be able to cope. And they can’t send a monkey or a dog like they did back in the 60s, because animal rights have come a very long way since then.

I hate you PETA.

So instead there’s me. I’m unimportant enough to be risked. I am, if you will, the human monkey.

Not sure how I feel about that.  Surely I have more intelligence and understanding than -  be right back, some guy’s been counting down for about the last ten sec-

0800

Just woke up. OW. Turns out that was the launch. No, NASA, I’m not dead, your monkey is safe. They’re not going to fire the ftl drive until we get past the moon and they have enough space to safely detonate a nuclear explosion if it all goes wrong (Thanks a bunch, guys), so it’s good ol’ rocket fuel until then. Meaning I’ve a couple of days to sit around until then. Good thing I brought a book.

1700

Note to self. Next time, bring longer book.

January 17^th, 2037.

0213

That’s the moon! We’ve just passed the moon. I’m the first person to go past the moon in 10 years. What a fantastic moment in human history. I should tell NASA.

0218

NASA have already seen the moon, apparently. They told not to call again unless it’s important.

0220

I really, really hate you PETA.