February 21st,
2037 – 4 DAYS UNTIL IMPACT
0501
Dear Space Diary.
I can’t sleep.
I haven’t actually slept all that well for the past 5 weeks. There has been plenty to keep me occupied. Reschedules, technical faults, a sense of impending doom. Those kinds of things. Oh, and the constant reminder that I am in fact trapped in a small capsule hurtling through a vacuum. That’s a fairly big one. Despite this, I haven’t actually had all that much to do. The ship, when it was under control, was being steered and directed by NASA from Earth.
Now that it’s out of control, it more or less steers itself.
Sigh.
0530
NASA have taken this opportunity to remind me of all I’ve achieved so far.
· Nobody has ever travelled further than Mars before. I have.
· Nobody has travelled faster than light before. I have.
· Nobody has travelled beyond our solar system. I have.
· Nobody has ever folded 328 paper cranes in zero-gravity. I have.
They’re not so impressed with that last one.
And now, I was going to be the first person to ever land onto another planet.
By which they mean crash land. This is NASA’s solution to my predicament. They can’t slow the ship down, so they’ll never be able to turn the ship around to get me home. They have another ship they can use to tow me back to Earth, but given it can’t travel as fast as I can, it’ll never catch up. Unless they can slow me down.
To their credit, they’ve thought of a way. But as that way involves slamming me into a planet and then towing whatever’s left back to Earth, I’m less than thrilled by their solution.
But it’s not like I have much of a say. I can only sit here while they look for a suitably soft planet.
So, I can’t sleep. And I’m more than a little stressed, NASA.
0920
NASA’s solution to my stress is to upload soothing music, so that I can relax and drift off to sleep. It’s uploading now.
0940
NASA’s definition of soothing music is “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”
0950
On repeat.
1010
Actually, I do feel a bit more relaxed now. Don’t worry, doo, doo, doo. Be happy.
1030
Ok, stressed again.
1230
Could you turn off the music now, NASA?
1600
NASA don’t know how to turn the music off.
0501
Dear Space Diary.
I can’t sleep.
I haven’t actually slept all that well for the past 5 weeks. There has been plenty to keep me occupied. Reschedules, technical faults, a sense of impending doom. Those kinds of things. Oh, and the constant reminder that I am in fact trapped in a small capsule hurtling through a vacuum. That’s a fairly big one. Despite this, I haven’t actually had all that much to do. The ship, when it was under control, was being steered and directed by NASA from Earth.
Now that it’s out of control, it more or less steers itself.
Sigh.
0530
NASA have taken this opportunity to remind me of all I’ve achieved so far.
· Nobody has ever travelled further than Mars before. I have.
· Nobody has travelled faster than light before. I have.
· Nobody has travelled beyond our solar system. I have.
· Nobody has ever folded 328 paper cranes in zero-gravity. I have.
They’re not so impressed with that last one.
And now, I was going to be the first person to ever land onto another planet.
By which they mean crash land. This is NASA’s solution to my predicament. They can’t slow the ship down, so they’ll never be able to turn the ship around to get me home. They have another ship they can use to tow me back to Earth, but given it can’t travel as fast as I can, it’ll never catch up. Unless they can slow me down.
To their credit, they’ve thought of a way. But as that way involves slamming me into a planet and then towing whatever’s left back to Earth, I’m less than thrilled by their solution.
But it’s not like I have much of a say. I can only sit here while they look for a suitably soft planet.
So, I can’t sleep. And I’m more than a little stressed, NASA.
0920
NASA’s solution to my stress is to upload soothing music, so that I can relax and drift off to sleep. It’s uploading now.
0940
NASA’s definition of soothing music is “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”
0950
On repeat.
1010
Actually, I do feel a bit more relaxed now. Don’t worry, doo, doo, doo. Be happy.
1030
Ok, stressed again.
1230
Could you turn off the music now, NASA?
1600
NASA don’t know how to turn the music off.
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